Mass Effect Andromeda: Instinct
by HotMezoti
Summary: Jaal can't comprehend how strongly he is drawn to Sara Ryder, but can't deny it. Lemony content.
1. Chapter 1

Jaal stomped towards the dock, growling as his mind raced picturing what he might encounter. Governor Shie was there already with her security. He pushed past a few of the growing crowd making their way to see the alien ship that had invaded their planet.

As he approached, he looked up, gasping inwardly. Their ship was a wonder, bigger than anything in the Angaran arsenal. It was smoking too, definitely was in distress, or was that a ruse? He frowned and picked up his pace as he could hear Governor Shie talking. He knew she would take a more diplomatic approach. What was she inviting into their sanctuary? He pushed a few Angarans out of the way, and past the Governor who tried to stop him.

He told her sternly, "Evfra saw the ship come in and sent me to find out what's going on." Jaal held up his hand. He looked down at the alien representative, and ran down the stairs. He intentionally got very close in her face, "Aya is protected. What do you want!"

To his surprise, the female reacted in a way he was not expecting. She held her position, barely, and looked at him steadily in silence. Suddenly she stammered, "I apologize. Landing here, like we did without warning, on fire, was not the plan." He watched her wince slightly, in embarrassment over her own words. His eyes roved over her face, analyzing at lightning speed. He watched her swallow hard.

He was still very close and intimidating, "That's good to know. Because if it was," he paused and got closer, "That would be a very bad plan." His voice was stern, but he leaned in towards her, and gave her a quick smile. His face turned serious again, and he turned back to Governor Shie.

He left her with the Governor to report back to Evfra, and thought over the momentous encounter. It was strange, but not in the way he was expecting. He was disarmed by her, in that small moment, that tiny exchange. That's why he gave her the out with a smile to put her at ease. He felt some sincerity and intelligence in her face, her demeanor, but it made no sense to let her relax. He sighed, actually at this point there was little he could even report back to Evfra, with the exception of the bare minimum of facts. He shook his head, and entered Resistance headquarters to report.

A while later he found himself convincing Evfra to let him join her, this Pathfinder, on her ship. He could see the look on Evfra's incredulous face, but Jaal knew he had to go, had to be on this mission. Jaal knew appealing to his need to have an inside source on the alien's movements and motivations was the answer. It worked.

He shook her hand, "I'm Jaal Ama Darav, I'll be your envoy through Angaran space."

She looked immensely relieved, "Thank you for trusting me."

 _Not that easy_ , he thought. "I don't, but I can always kill you in your sleep."

"Good to know," she laughed.

He was intrigued, this female was not easily intimidated. She was their leader, a warrior. But she did so with grace, and yet a youthful clumsiness as well. She held her hand out straight, and he collected his thoughts, putting his arm outside hers and showing her an Angaran greeting.

He met with her briefly on her ship, exchanging information about their history with the kett, the Moshae, and the two planets they should pursue leads on. She was attentive and intelligent in her quick assessment of the situation and sensitive to his cultural recommendations. He found her nearness to him distracting, exciting. After a tense meeting with her crew, Jaal settled in the tech lab and sent out a message to Aya have some supplies sent while they worked on repairing the damage to the Tempest. He looked around and thought about what he might have gotten himself into. It was definitely a big risk, but he needed this, needed a change a – shake up. It couldn't be any more exciting and risky than this. As the ship took off, he made his way down to the Pathfinder's quarters, per her request. He readied himself as he stared at the metal doors and played with the buttons until he heard her respond via comm and the doors wooshed open. He entered in a few feet and stood at attention, until she jumped up from her desk and over to him with a wide smile.

"Jaal, I can't tell you enough how glad I am that you're here with us." She put her hands on her hips. "I'm sorry my crew wasn't more, well, polite."

Her casual demeanor made him relax, "I understand their trepidation. We feel the same."

"But you're giving us a chance, that means a lot. I don't take it lightly." She gestured towards the couch, "Have a seat?"

He walked around her cabin, almost pacing, "I think I prefer to stand for a bit."

She laughed again. "Sure, whatever you feel comfortable with."

He turned and looked at her closely, she was different, to be sure. He looked at the strands hanging from her head, her angled, pink face. Her softer body, visible through the casual clothing she was wearing.

She noticed him looking at her, "I changed into my civilian clothes, is that okay?"

"Yes, I am just intrigued by how you look."

"I feel the same," she cocked her head to the side, "I know we have some exiles from the Nexus that have encountered Angarans. Have you met any of them? Today's the first time I've seen your species. Fascinating."

"No, you are the first human I've ever seen."

"Ah, so we're each other's firsts," she grinned, then turned bright pink and looked down.

Again she surprised him with her shyness and enthusiasm.

"Well, let's get down to work then, shall we? If you could tell me more about Voeld, so I can prepare the rest of the crew." She picked up her datapad.

He nodded and sat down next to her, making a plan for tomorrow's mission. He stayed, a little too long, leaving reluctantly as it was getting late. He walked slowly down towards the kitchen, deep in thought, and lost in her energy and her presence. He tried to shake off the strange feeling. Maybe it was a human effect on Angara? He spent the next hour or so interacting with some of the rest of the crew in a more informal manner as he ate. Cora sat next to him, giving him a tentative smile as she stabbed a fork in her salad. They exchanged some basic information about their species, their histories.

"Sorry if I came across strong in the meeting earlier," Cora cleared her throat, "As the Pathfinder's second, I'm naturally a bit protective and suspicious."

"I understand. I feel that way for Evfra and my people." He looked sideways at her as she took a drink. "Tell me, how well do you know the Pathfinder?"

"Well," she used her tongue to move some food out of her teeth, "Um, I knew her father much better actually. He was the Pathfinder. I trained with him for years. I knew Sara a bit, but never worked for her. Her father, Alec, died on our first mission and he transferred the Pathfinder AI to her to save her life. Now I'm her second."

Jaal was surprised, "Indeed, I cannot imagine."

Cora nodded, "She's had to learn the job as she's doing it. It hasn't been much time at all, and nothing's going to plan, when does it ever? But we're all here to support her, though, especially me. I think she's actually doing very well. It's got to be hard for her to step into her father's shoes. He was a legend."

Jaal took a deep breath, "I can relate to that."

They talked some more, and Jaal studied Cora, as another female human. She was pleasant, polite, and friendly. He did not feel the same intense energy from her he had from the Pathfinder. _Strange._

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" Peebee flopped down next to them at the small kitchen table.

"Oh, just getting to know each other." Cora gave a perfunctory smile.

"Ooo, sounds interesting." Peebee put her hand under her chin and smiled at Jaal. "As one of the Asari representatives on the Tempest, I'd be happy to tell you anything you want to know."

"Thank you, I will keep that in mind."

She giggled and cocked her head to the side, "Your species is very interesting. If you have time after you eat-"

"Peebee, give the guy a break. He's just met all of us, just came on the ship today, back off." Cora chastised her.

"Okay, okay. Fine. I'm available anytime Jaal." She gave him a warm smile and walked out seductively.

Jaal looked back at Cora who rolled her eyes and shook her head. She finished her meal and threw out her trash, "Welcome again, Jaal. Any help you need, let me know." She nodded and left.

He sat back, alone in the kitchen, and thought over their conversations. Peebee's less than subtle approach was not lost on him, but he was neither tempted nor intrigued by her. Cora was professional and helpful. So what was it about the Pathfinder that had her stuck in his mind?

The next day, it was a nagging thought in the background of the day's events as he joined the Pathfinder and Cora as the ground team on Voeld. He was inexplicably drawn to her, and to his bewilderment, protective over her. She seemed to talk to him differently too. _She's manipulating me, using me. She needs me and what I can offer her people._

He had to admire her dedication and sincerity as the day went on. He even overheard her chastise Cora, her second in command, for cautioning her from trying to help the Angarans beyond the main mission.

"How can you say that?" he heard her hiss, "These people are in trouble, they are in dire straits and we are able to help. That's the plan."

"But the mission takes priority-" Cora protested.

"Not at the Angaran's expense. We'll do everything we can, because that's the right thing to do."

He could tell she did not know his hearing was sensitive to pick up their hushed conversation. He started to wonder, was this Pathfinder for real? As they continued to fight Kett on Voeld and work towards freeing the trapped Angara, Jaal started trusting his initial instincts about her more than the voice of Evfra in his head. The rescue was successful, and Jaal finished assessing the other prisoners as Ryder talked to Niilj about the data they had recovered. Jaal excitedly talked to her as she walked up to him, "Pathfinder, you've made a lot of headway today. Liberating key Resistance agents and recovering information they stole from the Kett. You've put many doubts about you to rest. Even Evfra must now be convinced of your intentions. We can contact Evfra from the Tempest. He'll be sure to aide you now."

She frowned and looked directly at him, "We have to get this data drive to Techiix first to Buxil. You heard Niilj. Evfra can wait." She saw the look of surprise on his face, and smiled, "It will be fine. There are more pressing priorities here."

Any trace of his doubt melted away. It made no sense, she could still be trying to fool him, but her actions confirmed his instincts. He couldn't explain it, such a strong connection with her, it was overwhelming.

They finished delivering the data to Techiix, and back on the Tempest had a terse video call with Evfra. They spoke briefly and went to the respective quarters. Jaal had trouble coming down after the day's events. He was frustrated with Evfra's attitude, though he understood it, and Evfra continued to trust Jaal's judgement, that wasn't in question _. No, it's her, I have to make sure she understands._

He pinged her quarters, and he entered, but she wasn't there. "Pathfinder?" he looked around. He received a ping on his comm, "I'm meeting with Cora, I'll be there in a minute, if you don't mind waiting."

"No, no problem." He clicked it off and sat down for a minute, then was compelled to get up and start looking around her room. He glanced over her desk briefly, looked over the view of space, then walked to her bed, and picked up her jacket that was laid on her bed. He examined it, looking closely at the fabric. His gloves were off, and he rubbed the softness between his fingers. He brought it up to his face and smelled it, overcome with her sent. It was exotic, yet familiar. He put it down on her bed, as much as he could imitate its original position. He glanced towards the door – no movement. He walked farther up and picked up her pillow, holding it up and breathing in deeply. This time her scent was stronger, and he closed his eyes, lost in the sensation. He suddenly pulled it away from him and back on the bed, walking quickly back to the couch. He barely sat down when she breezed into her quarters and over to where he was sitting.

"What can I do for you, Jaal?"

"Pathfinder" he looked up at her and was overcome. He took a breath and swallowed hard. "I – I uh, came to see how you are."

"Oh," she put her hands on her knees, "I'm great. I think we made good progress today, don't you?"

"Definitely. I do want to apologize for Evfra's behavior."

She chuckled, "He's a general, he's successful because of his caution. I understand."

"He does not need to be rude to you to convey that message." Jaal grumbled.

She shrugged, "No big deal. I can handle it. But thanks for being concerned about me. I thought we made a great team out there today."

"I agree."

There was an almost imperceivable shift in the air between them. Her voice got softer, "You were pretty hard on me on Aya, but you've changed your opinion now?"

"How could I not, after seeing you for the person you are today."

She was a bit taken aback. "Wow, that's a compliment, thanks."

"Angara," he stood up and started pacing around her quarters, "Feel very deeply. It's actually harder for us not to show our emotions."

"Huh, interesting. Humans are kind of the opposite."

He turned, "I feel like I can read you very well."

"Oh, really? Like some sort of telepathy?"

He shook his head no, "No, a different sort of connection. But just you."

"I – " she started slightly rocking forward nervously, "I'm pretty obvious, am I?"

"I call it sincerity."

She smiled.

"There's something unique about you- uneasy, raw - but somehow profound." He cocked his head and looked at her closely.

"I – thanks. I think you're pretty great too." She looked down shyly. She cleared her throat, "Well, do you want to stay and have a drink or something?"

He shook his head no. He was becoming overwhelmed by being alone with her. It was crazy, what was it about her that drew him in so deeply? He spoke, "I think I'd better go."

Her disappointment was palpable. "Oh, ok." She stood and walked up to him straightening her shirt, "Thanks for coming by. It was nice of you." She looked up at him and ever so slightly bit her lip. It was his undoing.

"Well," he said a little too loudly, "I'll be going now, and I'll see you tomorrow."

She absently rubbed her arm, "Yup, see you in the morning."

He frowned and let out a loud sigh, "Yes, tomorrow." He stared at her for a second and turned and walked out of her quarters.

She stood, puzzled for a moment, thinking over the conversation they'd had. "Strange," she said, however, how would she know how these aliens act anyway?

She rubbed her eyes and walked towards her closet to change for bed.

 _Pathfinder, I must inform you of something._

"Hm? What is it Sam?"

 _While Jaal was waiting for you to return to your quarters he was looking through your things._

She snapped her head, looking around her room, "He what!"

 _He was looking through your personal items._

"Son of a bitch. Tell me exactly what he did," she felt her emotions start to rise.

 _He took your jacket off your bed and felt the material in his hand, then he smelled it._

She narrowed her eyes and smirked, "He did what?"

 _He smelled it. He then put it back on your bed._

"That's – unusual. Maybe it's an Angaran, alien thing?" She made an expression of puzzlement.

 _There's more_.

She sat down on her bed. "Okaaay – what else?" She braced herself.

 _He picked up your pillow and smelled it. He hugged it, also._

She looked to her side at her pillow and noticed it had been dented and was askew. "Okay," she put her hands out to her side, palms out, "If you tell me he was trying on my clothes and prancing around my quarters, I'm going to be seriously freaked out."

 _No Pathfinder, he put the pillow down and sat down on the couch, just before you came back to your quarters._

She let out a long breath, eyes wide, "Well, don't know exactly how to take that. What's your interpretation, Sam?"

 _Unclear._

"You were here," she huffed, "What was his demeanor, was he angry, or scientific-"

 _It seemed to be a pleasurable experience for him._

"Oh, oh. Hm." She darted her eyes back and forth looking down at the edge of her bed. "That's very – interesting. Anything else, Sam?"

 _No Pathfinder._

She nodded, "Thanks, and – good night."

The next morning, Jaal was pacing around his quarters. _Nerves about the mission,_ he told himself. He huffed, and purposefully left his quarters and down to the Pathfinder's. The doors opened with his ping, and he found her at her desk, going over datapads.

"Researching for the mission today. There's still lot of ground to cover on Voeld. I want to work on those monoliths. See if we can improve the planet's atmosphere."

"What about the Moshae?"

She pushed back her chair and stood up, "It's a priority for sure, but if we can improve the conditions there, we instantly tilt favor to the Angara."

"Agreed." He noticed she was wearing little clothing, a type of sleeveless top and loose pants.

She ran her fingers through her hair, "I'll get changed and then get something to eat, then we can head on out." She looked up at him, puzzled, "What?" she said with a smile, noticing him staring at her.

He pointed at her head, "What is that?"

She looked upwards, "Huh?"

He walked closer, "This," and picked up a long strand of hair.

"Oh that," she grinned, "It's called hair. It grows out of our head. It has no feeling, it's sort of protective, I suppose. We can let it grow or cut it. It's sort of a way of expressing personal style, too. You noticed Cora's is different, so is Suvi's."

He examined her dark brown lock between his fingers as she stood very still. "It's soft."

"Um-hm," she said.

"Interesting. Beautiful." He finally let go and looked down at her face that was now very close to his. He could see she was holding her breath.

She was near enough for him to reach out and touch her and before he could tell his hand to stop, he reached down for her face. She responded with a little gasp that shivered down his spine. His mind told him to pull his hand away and leave, but instead, he put his other hand on her shoulder and gently caressed it down her exposed arm. She opened her eyes slowly, and looked deeply into his with trepidation, but something more – or was he imagining it? He stopped. _What the hell am I doing?_ He felt possessed. She answered his unspoken question by putting both her hands on his chest and pulling closer to him.

"I - um," she said softly, with a slight question. It hung in the air for only a second, then she put her hand up around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss, timid at first, then quickly intense. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her, walking her over against the wall, frantically tasting her, pushing his tongue into her willing mouth. She rubbed her exotic soft tongue against his, meeting his frenetic need. She writhed between the cold glass panel and him as he pulled her shirt out of her pants and pushed his hand down her front, the drawstring loose enough to allow him. He pulled his head back and watched her face as her eyes widened and she gasped, gripping onto his shoulders as he reached down. He was out of control, had to feel her, know her. He felt hair, what had she said, it was protective? She took shallow gasping breaths and moved her legs farther apart to allow him to explore. He reached an inquiring finger down and felt wetness.

"Yesss," she said faintly. Their anatomy was more similar than he'd thought, and he starting tipping his finger up and in, watching her reaction of pleasure as he felt the soft wet walls first stretch, then grip around him. He moved in and out, feeling her in this intimate way listening to her moans getting louder and louder. She pulled him into a hot kiss, hungrily pulling on him and bucking against his hand. The panel behind her beeped and alarmed repeatedly as she slammed her hand against it. He kept going, intensifying his movements, drowning in pleasure without coherent thought. Suddenly she pulled away and repeated something his translator wouldn't pick up. He could feel her walls closing tightly around his hand. "What?" he sputtered out. "Orgasm," she gasped loudly. That translated. He continued working her as she spasmed against him repeatedly. Wave after wave came, and he marveled at her emotional and physical release. These humans were so reserved, yet she was wild with him now. They both slowed in tandem, her breathing became slower and deeper, and she started to relax. He became aware of his own heavy breathing, and lifted her back down on the floor, pulling his hand gently out of her. He tried to adjust her pants, pull her shirt back down. He stood up and took deep breaths as his mind started to clear. She leaned over, saying, "Oh my god, oh my god," repeatedly. She looked up at him wild-eyed, taking in big breaths, pursing her lips as she breathed out slowly.

Kallo's voice came over her comm. "Report from Voeld ready for you Pathfinder."

She stood up straight and brought up her omni-tool, "Yeah, no problem, I'll be right there."

"What's that beeping?" Kallo asked.

She turned to the panel by her closet behind her and turned off the buttons she'd set off. "Nothing. Just my monitors. Everything's fine. I'll check on that message in a minute."

She turned her omni-tool off and looked intently at Jaal. "Wow."

"I –" was all Jaal could articulate.

"Is that an Angaran thing?"

"Absolutely not, I – cannot explain it, Pathfinder."

She rubbed her face, still trying to calm herself down, "Call me Ryder, at least Jaal."

He nodded.

"That was intense, fantastic, but it never happened, okay?" she looked at him with warning eyes.

Relieved, he nodded vigorously, "Yes, never happened."

"Good. There's just too much at stake."

"I agree."

"Okay, you go, and I'll get dressed and meet you in the kitchen to eat before we go out on Voeld with Vetra."

He collected himself. "Got it."

She couldn't help but shake her head and give him a huge grin. He rubbed his face and gave her a grin back. "Right. See you in a minute." And he left.


	2. Chapter 2

Jaal left and stood outside her door, frozen and stunned. His thoughts started to clear, and he was both exhilarated and terrified. What type of madness was this, this alien, this woman? He had never been so bold, so captivated by anyone before. He walked slowly to the kitchen and washed her off his hands. He grabbed a towel and with shaking hands, dried them off. He looked up at the ceiling and took slow, deep breaths trying to fathom what the consequences of what he'd just done would be. The door wooshed open and Vetra came in.

"Hey, Jaal. I'm with you on the mission today. Wish we could go to Havarl, somewhere less frigid." She reached behind him to pull something out of cold storage. "We get the Moshae, looks like that planet's next, right?" She munched on some food. "Right?"

"What? What was the question?"

"Havarl, we'll likely be there after we get the Moshae. Granted that goes well."

"Yes, yes." He looked down at the metal floor.

She narrowed her eyes, "You okay?"

"Hm? Fine, just – stressed. There's a lot at stake."

"True. You should eat. We'll be leaving soon." Vetra took a drink.

Back in her quarters, Ryder leaned against the wall, her hands to her head. "Fuck."

 _"_ _Pathfinder-."_

"Seriously Sam, I just don't think I want to know what you have to say right now." Ryder warned.

 _"_ _I was just going to say that we now understand why he was going through your things."_

She let out a huff, "Yeah, I suppose we do. Damn." She stood up and went to her closet, changing quickly. "Oh, and Sam, make sure that what just happened – anything about Jaal and me is not recorded, understood? I've got to have some sort of private life."

 _"_ _Yes Pathfinder."_

Ryder dressed and left her quarters for the kitchen. She hesitated as she approached, but stood up straight and entered. Vetra was sitting at the table eating, "Hey Ryder."

"Morning." She said breezily. She then turned to face Jaal who was leaning against the counter, eating nutrient paste. He looked petrified. She smiled, "Jaal, hope you slept well."

"Yes." He said, still eating.

"Good. I'll meet you guys downstairs in 20 minutes, and we'll head out to Voeld to meet with the shuttle to go to the Kett base. We can discuss the mission further with them. Not much more we know at this point." she looked around as Vetra nodded. Jaal wouldn't look at her, he was still freaking out. _Shit, he's the one who did this, he can't be making it weird now._ She pulled some food out of cold storage and grabbed a towel, patting Jaal on the shoulder and giving him a smile as she did so. He seemed to relax a little. She turned and took the food back to her quarters to eat.

The mission was intense, which helped to re-focus them, and true to their word, they both acted like nothing happened. The Moshae was rescued successfully and back on board. She met with Jaal and the Moshae briefly while she was in medbay. Jaal was strong in Ryder's defense, which she appreciated. Back in her quarters, she thought about the day's events. Things were coming together, they were making progress. Tomorrow they'd take the Moshae back to Aya, then start work on Havarl.

Leaning back in her desk chair, she closed her eyes and smiled picturing Jaal. She sighed feeling a warm heat wash over her remembering the feel of his hands on her, in her. She sprung up and went to the tech lab. She at least wanted to talk to him about finding out the true origin of the kett and to clear the air, too. She walked in, and Jaal swung around, "Pathfinder."

She stopped short. "Um it's Ryder."

"Of course, I will try to remember."

"Uh," she was taken aback, he was standing in just a towel. He must have just come back from the showers. "I, wanted to check on you and see how you were handling what we saw at the Kett base." She crossed her arms and tried not to gawk at him.

"It is hard to process. We had no idea. But it does not change our mission. Now more than ever, we must defeat them. It gives fire to our cause."

She nodded. "I agree. It sounded like they had their eyes on us next."

"Yes, that Cardinal talked about exaltation like it was a gift." He snorted in disgust.

"Will the Moshae be ready to return to Aya tomorrow?"

"I think so," he took his towel off and threw it down on his cot, "She is weakened, but able to travel safely. She needs the ion beds we have on Aya."

Ryder averted her eyes as Jaal stood next to her naked. "Um, yeah. That's good."

"I have sent a report to Evfra. The rest of your crew will be able to depart the ship and have free access to Aya tomorrow."

"That's great." Ryder put her hand up to shade her eyes. She was waiting for him to put his clothes on, but he was in no hurry.

"Evfra is greatly pleased, although he doesn't want to admit it." Jaal chuckled, "You have done something no one has been able to accomplish, Ryder." He stopped and looked at her. She was completely covering her face with her hand. "Do you not agree?"

"Yup. Sounds great." She said muffled behind her hand.

He walked up in front of her, "What is wrong?"

She pulled her hand away and looked straight up at him, "It's a bit hard to have a conversation with you when you are completely naked."

He looked puzzled, "Why?"

"Why? Well, it's very distracting."

He frowned, looking down at himself, "It offends you?"

"No, I mean, you look," she glanced down quickly, "great, really awesome, actually. But for us, humans, I mean, nudity is very private, only for your mate or partner."

"Indeed. That is different. Angarans are not as modest." He looked down at her.

"Yeah, that is different." She pressed her lips together and nodded. He was still in front of her, very near. She giggled and put her hand over her closed eyes, "I'm sorry."

"I do not mean to embarrass you."

"I can't help it." She backed away a bit.

He turned to pick up his towel again, and she stepped over to him, "Wait, I – don't mean to impose on you. These are your quarters, after all."

"No – it's no problem." He tied the towel around his waist and tucked it in. She was instantly disappointed. The power she'd felt from him that morning wrapped around her suddenly became an insatiable need. She approached him slowly.

"I am actually fascinated by your anatomy. Your skin is so different, may I?" she reached out for his bare chest.

He nodded silently, as she tentatively brushed her fingertips over his skin, feeling the jutting bones on his ribcage. She looked up at him as his eyes bored down into hers. She dragged her hands down his abdomen and in a flash he grabbed her hand flat against him, stopping her.

"Ryder," he warned.

"I just-"

"We agreed."

"I know, I just want to explore too. You know, return the favor?" she pleaded with her eyes.

He loosened his grip and she smiled, pulling the towel away. As it fell on the floor, she knelt down in front of him. He took in a deep breath as she lightly touched his thighs and ran her fingers closer in.

"Sam? Lock the door."

 _"_ _Yes, Pathfinder."_

"Sam?" Jaal asked.

"My AI." She answered. She positioned herself down further, holding onto him for support. She focused all her attention in front of her, hesitating for a second, but then taking his penis in her hand. It was similar in feel and shape to a human's, but the color was a deep purple, with a slightly pointed tip. She started kneading it, squeezing it, watching it engorge and enlarge quickly. She wanted it. Looking up at him for his reaction, she saw him watching her, entranced. She held him and brought him up to her mouth, lightly licking his tip. It had a slightly sweet taste, not unpleasant. She took more in, sucking on it slightly, then pulled back, rubbing it with her finger, looking up at him again. He had his eyes closed, breathing more heavily. He reached out and held her head lightly in his hand to steady himself. She smiled and squeezed a little harder, taking more of him in her mouth, running her tongue over his shaft as she started sucking harder. He started to groan, making louder, growling noises. She reached underneath him with her other hand as he held her steady on him. He had no hair on his body, and she felt around for his testicles, but they weren't there. She moved her hand back around to his base, wondering how this was going to play out. He was exotic, so sexy, but truth was he was an entirely unknown species.

He moved deeper inside her mouth, and she refocused herself on giving him the most pleasure she could. He moved more rhythmically into her as she tried to keep up with him. His girth was ridiculous, and she should have known by looking at how massive he was everywhere else. She could feel him getting close.

 _"_ _Pathfinder."_

She ignored it.

 _"_ _Pathfinder."_

She pulled off Jaal, "What Sam!" she yelled angrily.

 _"_ _I must caution against unknown alien reactions."_

"Monitor my vitals and notify the doctor if there is anaphylaxis, and fucking shut up!" she hungrily took Jaal back in her mouth to a loud groan in response. In a minute she had him worked back up to where they were before, and she felt anxiety but knew she was not going to stop no matter what. She groaned loudly on him, and he quivered, spasming into her. She nearly choked on the amount of cum, but held onto him and swallowed it down continuously. He gripped the back of her head tightly, and grunted loudly, like a beast. She stayed still as he spilled everything he had, and started to soften. He slowed his swaying, and gently pulled his fingers out of her tangled hair. She gave a few final sucks with a pucker as she pulled his tip out of her mouth. She sat back flat on the floor and looked back up at him.

He was breathing heavily, stunned, reeling from the experience and the sight of her soft pink lips taking him in her mouth. He stumbled back and sat on his cot. "Are you – are you okay?"

She nodded. "Feel fine. Everything fine Sam?"

 _"_ _Yes, Pathfinder."_

She got on all fours and stood up, finger combing her hair, "I think I should go."

"Wait," Jaal held his hand out, "wait."

"So, never happened, right?"

"Yes, never happened." Jaal answered.

"Curiosity satisfied."

"Oh yeah. Satisfied."

"We can't – we can't confuse things, get distracted."

"Yes, I completely agree."

"Okay, then, I'll see you tomorrow."

Jaal pulled his towel over his lap, "See you tomorrow Sara."

She stood for a second, nodding, then turned and quickly left his quarters. She stood wide-eyed outside his door as Liam worked on a panel next to her, and Dr. T'Perro checked equipment at the round console. She looked furtively at them. Had they heard anything? She wiped her mouth, and looked down at her hand, seeing milky blue on it. She frantically wiped it a few more times to clean it off. She casually walked back over the walkway and down the stairs to her quarters. "Jesus, what just happened?" she said.

Jaal lay back on his cot, forearm over his eyes. He couldn't believe she had just done that. She was some sort of spirit, some dream brought to him from another galaxy. It was unreal. She felt the same lack of control with him. It was imperative they stop. Any hint of this getting back to Evfra, or out to either of their people, it would be a disaster. Like she said, that was it, curiosity satisfied.


	3. Chapter 3

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you  
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do  
I'd never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you  
And I'd never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

\- - Wicked game

The next morning they brought the Moshae back on Aya, and Ryder performed her Pathfinder duties, meeting with dignitaries, touring Aya, getting to know the people and the culture. She was impressed, and appreciated their gracious welcome. She tried in vain to focus on this triumphant success and the course their mission was taking. She couldn't shake how much being intimate with Jaal consumed her. It started with a shock, the intensity of their attraction, his bold sexuality. She was pulled to him, inexplicably. When she met him in his quarters, she had no intention of doing anything, but was unable to stop. It was an out of body experience, and she was more than a little troubled at feeling controlled by this fire that ignited between them. The threat of it burning everything down around them was completely lost in the delicious draw of the heat, and all reason left when she was near him.

She found the Tavataan, and joined Liam and Cora at a table there.

"Pathfinder, Aya's amazing!" Liam marveled.

"How was your meeting with Evfra?"

"Productive, and intimidating."

"Sounds about right," Cora laughed. "At least he welcomed us at the docks."

"I don't think he was going to let that occasion go by without his presence." Ryder smiled.

"May I join you?"

She looked behind her to see Jaal standing with a large plate of fruits. "Oh, of course." She smiled tightly. She felt her heart jump and was angry at how her body betrayed her.

He put the plate down in the middle of the table, "I brought some fruit. I checked with your doctor, these are all compatible with your anatomy."

Liam leaned forward, "Mm, looks great, thanks."

He sat across Ryder, "I heard you had a meeting with Evfra." He looked at her evenly.

"Word travels fast." She fiddled with a leaf on the table.

"I met with him as well when we first docked, gave him a debrief. As I'm sure he told you, he's pleased with our progress and rescuing the Moshae." Jaal said.

"Yes, there's something more about that we need to discuss later, it's confidential to Angaran security." Ryder looked at him pointedly, thinking about Vehn Terev.

Jaal nodded. He glanced again up at her, and she felt her stomach churn. How was she going to do this?

She reached over and selected one of the fruits, "This is so good. Like a starfruit with a nectarine flavor, wouldn't you say Cora?"

She nodded, "Yes, but sweeter. Delicious."

"I'm glad you enjoy it. I'll have some sent to the Tempest for you." Jaal cleared his throat, "Evfra wants to take me off the mission, reassign me to Aya."

Ryder blanched. She started out quietly then got louder "No way. No way. We need you on the mission. We haven't even been to Havarl yet!"

"I know, he feels my mission is completed-" Jaal looked down at the table.

"But, but –" she shook her head vigorously, "You have to go, there's no way I can do this without you. I mean," she started to notice how her crew were staring at her emotional outburst, "we need your expertise and diplomatic advice." She cleared her throat. "I'll go see Evfra-" she started to stand up.

Jaal held up his hand, "There's no need. I feel as you do, and convinced him to let me stay on board."

"You did?" she looked at him searching for confirmation. "You're staying on board with me?"

Jaal nodded.

Cora furrowed her brows for a second, "I'm sure everyone is invested in making our joint mission a success."

"I was fully prepared to leave the Resistance if necessary to join your team on the Tempest." Jaal ate a piece of fruit.

"Wow. You just met us a few days ago, and you would throw your whole career away to go off with us?" Liam looked at him.

Jaal chuckled, "It does sound strange when you say it like that, but sometimes you just have to follow your instinct, you know?"

They nodded, and Ryder looked at him directly. He gave her a slight smile. She sighed in relief.

They sat at the table for a while, until Cora and Liam finally left, and Ryder looked silently at Jaal.

He looked across the table at the intruder who had given him his greatest gift and his biggest curse. "I won't leave you Sara." He said simply.

When did he find out her first name? "Thanks, Jaal. I need you."

"I know. So do I." he said, sadly. He leaned away and sat back in his chair. "So, are we still going to Havarl today?"

She took a deep breath, "Yes. At least to make contact with the team down on the surface. You have a lot of intel on the planet?"

He nodded, "It's my home. I grew up there. My family still lives there."

"Oh, I didn't know that." She put her chin on her hands.

"It used to be a beautiful jungle world, I'm told. Now it is wild, uncontrolled with beasts and dangerous plants. It's dying."

"Dying?"

"Yes. The instability of the ecosystem is bringing it to a dangerous level. Not all of the vaults are working. I suspect if you could get them all working, we might see a change, like we have on Voeld."

"I would very much like to see that happen."

"You are a very passionate woman." He said quietly.

She blushed.

"I mean, you are so committed to your cause, to our cause already. Your intense devotion is – admirable. You fought for the Moshae like she was your own mother."

"Family is – hard to find here in Andromeda."

"Cora told me about your father, I am sorry. My father was lost to the kett as well. Do you have any other family here?"

She traced a pattern on the table with her fingertip, "My brother is here, but there was an accident in cryo. He's in a coma. My mother died years ago. It's just me, actually."

"How very sad for you. Angaran families are very large, with brothers, sisters, cousins and many mothers."

"So your family, does that include anyone special -" she refused to look up at him.

"Once, long ago. It did not work out, however. Just as well." he stared at her.

"Yea, same for me." She took a deep breath and stood up, "Well, I suppose we should get back to the Tempest.

Jaal stood up as well, "Yes, that is a good plan."

She didn't move, biting the inside of her lip, unconsciously stopping herself from saying anything else. She silently turned and Jaal followed her back to the ship. As they walked out on the dock, Jaal felt a sinking feeling, a dull ache that grew with each step they took. In the techlab, he sat at his desk with his head in his hand, unmoving until he heard Ryder's voice over the comm asking him to meet her down to depart. He re-focused and joined her and Drack on Havarl.

A few days later they were on shore leave on the Nexus. Ryder sat in the Vortex, nursing a drink and thinking over her feelings for Jaal. They kept things professional, didn't talk about what happened. She hunched over her drink, swirling the ice around the glass. What started as something exciting and unexpected, thrilling and fun had turned into a source of torture as she realized her feelings for him ran deeper than she originally thought. She tried, in vain, to find something she didn't like about him, something that would help her stay away. Instead, her admiration for him grew. He was sensitive and kind, but funny and smart too. She enjoyed their conversations and felt at ease with him, something she rarely found with anyone.

The cacophony of the room was lost on her, as she was barely cognizant of the people and music around her, downing her drink and ordering another one. She looked up and saw some of the crew at another table. Peebee caught her eye and ran over.

"Ryder – I need your help." She said breathlessly.

"I refuse to get up on that stage and do karaoke with you."

Peebee laughed, "No worries about that. I actually need your help getting some parts."

"Sure," Ryder took another drink, "Send me some info and we'll check it out."

Peebee shook her head, "We need to go look for it now."

Ryder scrunched up her face, "Now?"

She pulled on her arm, "Yes, come on."

Ryder resisted, "No, not tonight. I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow. Besides, I've been drinking."

She scoffed, "Not that much. Look, seriously, I just got some information on some parts I need. They were stolen from my apartment-"

"You have an apartment?"

Peebee continued, "Yes, anyway, I've got it on good authority that it's hidden in one of the storage rooms on the Nexus. I have a small window of time when I can get it before it disappears again. But I don't want to go alone. I need your help," she sighed in frustration, "Please?"

Ryder rolled her eyes and shook her head, "Okay, fine. Where is it?"

"Great!" she pulled up her omni-tool, "Here's the two rooms I've narrowed it down to."

Ryder stood up and stretched her back, trying to regain her balance. She peered over at her omni-tool, "Okay, one of those is pretty close, the other one we'll have to take the tram to get to."

Peebee shut it off, "Let's start with the closest one. Thanks, Ryder."

Ryder waived her hand back and forth, "Yeah, yeah, let's get this over with."

Peebee looked at her, "You don't have a weapon with you."

"Right, I usually don't when I go out on shore leave," she said sarcastically.

Peebee frowned and looked around the room. She walked away from Ryder up to Jaal, who was sitting at a table with Liam. She leaned over and spoke to him for a minute, and he came over to Ryder.

"He's coming with us." Peebee held onto his arm and smiled up at him.

Ryder tightened her lips, "Sure."

She walked ahead of them and out of Vortex, pulling her omni-tool up to check the location. Upstairs, they went through a labyrinth of back rooms and walkways until they found the room Peebee identified.

"So, how big is this stuff we're getting?" Ryder asked, leaning against the outside of the door.

Peebee worked the code on the lock, "Not big."

"Any more you can say about it?" Jaal asked.

"Nope." She smiled, "Got it." The door opened, and they went inside. It was a large storage room, but was crowded with many shelves with crates and boxes in it.

"Fuck. You know how long it's going to take us to go through all this?" Ryder huffed.

"No worries," Peebee started scanning, "I'll find it in a minute."

"Sam, is there any surveillance in here?"

 _"_ _No, Pathfinder."_

"Ok, please lock the door with an encrypted rotating passcode."

 _"_ _It is done, Pathfinder."_

Ryder stood next to Jaal as they watched Peebee quickly scan the numerous boxes and crates. Ryder sighed and leaned against a large crate. She was still feeling the effects of the alcohol. She rarely drank, just wanting a night off to herself, trying to forget about Jaal, who was now standing quietly next to her.

"Are you feeling alright?" Jaal asked.

She looked up quickly, "Yeah, just – not how I had planned to spend the evening, you know?"

He nodded, "I understand-"

"Got it! Yea, here it is!" Peebee squealed with excitement and stood up, holding a small box in her hand. She beamed at them, "Jaal, if you could check outside to see if we're clear, I'll take this back to my apartment."

Jaal nodded and did as she asked. Ryder watched them both leave, then sat down on a crate, gathering her thoughts in the solitude. After a minute, the door wooshed back open and she sprang up, concerned, but relaxed when she saw Jaal come in.

"I was waiting outside for you," he started.

"Oh, I was coming out. I just wanted to sit for a minute."

He walked up closely to her, "Are you certain you are feeling alright?"

"I'll be fine Jaal."

He studied her face, "You look troubled. I am concerned, Ryder."

"I am troubled." She looked up at his face and gave him a wan smile, "how can I not be?"

He shook his head. He took her into a hug, holding her firmly. She stood like that for a small while, leaning her head against his chest. She could feel his breathing back and forth. She closed her eyes. He took a deep breath and pulled back, but as he did she felt a panic in her heart. Being with him, like this, she had to keep him there. She leaned up and gave him a soft kiss. He started to respond, then stepped away and put her hand back down by her side. "Ryder, no." he said quietly.

She hung her head down in disappointment and anger at herself as he turned and left. She flopped back down on the crate. "Dammit." She put her face in her hands and squeezed her eyes shut, tears coming out. "Why did I do that?" she knew exactly why. She really didn't want to try to stay away anymore. She wanted him, wanted to be with him, needed him, and thought she could pull those same feelings out from him as well. She wished she'd never-

She heard the door open again, and Jaal walked purposefully over to her.

"I'm going," she took a step, but Jaal intercepted her and reached his hands up to her face, leaning down and pressing his lips to hers. She reeled from the pleasure of his kiss. She hungrily thrust her tongue in his mouth, needing to taste him again.

"Sara," he moaned.

She felt a shiver go up her spine hearing his want. Before he changed his mind again, she had to feel him inside her. She reached down and pulled her shoes off, then her pants and panties. By that time he'd done pretty much the same, and she grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling herself towards him. She gasped feeling his hard cock pressed against her crotch. Yes, she'd had him in her mouth, but not like this. He continued to kiss her, and waves of heat washed over her. Acutely aware of their surroundings, she knew there wasn't a lot of time. She looked around the supply room, there was nowhere to lie down. She turned around to the crate she'd been sitting on, and leaned over it, pressing herself down on the lid. She still had her tank top on, but the feel of the cold metal on her breasts made her gasp.

"Yesss," Jaal's smooth deep voice hissed behind her. Seeing her spreading herself out in front of him, for him, made him incredibly hard. He squeezed and pulled apart her butt cheeks, grateful he'd looked up data on the Tempest on human anatomy and mating. He rubbed a finger in the spread of her folds, grunting in satisfaction feeling hot sweet wetness. He pulled his finger out and licked it, then held her down steady with one hand, holding his cock at her opening with the other. He could see her tense with anticipation as he teased her opening with the head of his cock. As he slowly pressed himself inside, she arched her back, exciting him even more. Inside her a few inches, he moved his hands to either side of her hips to hold her steady as he slowly drew himself out and farther in with each thrust. Watching his purple shaft disappear in her soft pink flesh entranced him. She moaned loudly, encouraging him to go deeper. Flush against her, he grinded her hips against him as she started yelling out, "Yes, yes, Jaal, oh, oh, it feels so good, faster."

He marveled at how warm and wet she was, yet gripping him at the same time. This was entirely different than an Angaran female. They felt colder, with no squeezing. They focused more on oral sex. A loud scream from Ryder concerned him for a split second, and he stilled, until she yelled out, "Keep fucking me!" He slammed repeatedly into her, knowing he was close. Suddenly she stiffened and let out repeated small gasps. He remembered her doing that when he fingered her, she was climaxing. He continued to push up into her as he started feeling her walls clamp down on his cock. "I can't –" he sputtered, "I'm going to-"

"Do it!" she grunted.

He pushed a few more times, growling and snarling with pleasure until he felt his release from his base shoot into her. He spasmed and continued to move in tandem with her as she rocked with his slowing thrusts.

Taking deep breaths, he caressed her back, her thighs as she lay completely spent on the crate. He held onto her hips again, "Can I take it out?"

He had to chuckle at her reluctant, "Yeah." He slowly pulled his length out and stood back. He looked down at his softening cock and her juices still lubricating him. Looking up at her, she was frozen in position, still leaning over the crate, breathing heavily. He was about to ask her if she was alright, when he saw his blue cum dripping out of her.

"Um, there's, sorry-" he grabbed his underwear off the floor and gently cleaned her up.

She laughed, and turned around to watch him, "I think Angarans cum way more than humans do."

"I hope there won't be any adverse reactions, are you feeling okay?" he said with concern.

She nodded, and pushed up off the crate to stand and face him. "I feel fine, no pain, no problems." She leaned back against the crate, "Amazing, you felt so, so good." She shivered. "How did it feel for you?"

He was rapidly trying to put his clothes back on, "Beyond all imagination. You, to be inside you Ryder, was fantastic. The way you felt," he rubbed his hand on his forehead, "I'll be dreaming of that forever."

She reached down and started taking her clothes and putting them back on. She looked at the door, "We're locked in for now, but we need to get going."

"Yes, I know." He finished getting his boots on. He watched as she finished getting dressed, and she stood with her hands on her hips. "We can't tell anyone." He said.

"I know."

"This is madness, you must agree."

"Yes, yes, definitely." She ran her hands through her hair.

"Sara," he put his hands up to his head, and looked at her wide-eyed as if to punctuate his message, "We absolutely have to stop this."

She nodded. _Was he trying to convince her, or himself?_ "Yes, Jaal, I agree."

"There's so much at stake, for both of us. We can't risk everything we are working towards."

"Right." She nodded vigorously and walked past him towards the door. "Sam, please undo the lock and reset it to its original settings."

 _"_ _Yes, Pathfinder."_

She turned at the door and looked back at him, "Are you ready to go?"

He joined her, and they went out back through the halls towards the Vortex. She glanced up at him, "Do I look alright?"

"Ravishing." He smiled.

She shook her head and giggled, "No, I mean my hair, is it too messed up?"

He furrowed his brows, "How is it supposed to look?"

They turned the corner and she patted it down with her hand, "Nevermind, I'll go to the bathroom when I get back. Wait-" she stopped him. "We should go in separately. Looks suspicious."

"You go ahead, I'll go back to the Tempest."

"You sure?" she felt disappointment, but tried to keep it hidden.

"I need to finish my report for Evfra. You go on to the Vortex, enjoy yourself."

She gave him a sly smile, "I already enjoyed myself. How is anything going to compare?"

He flushed, and said, "I agree. I'll see you tomorrow, Ryder. Remember, don't tell anyone."

"I won't. I know how things have to be. Goodnight." She walked down the stairs.

The next morning she woke up with a splitting hangover. She'd been thrilled beyond belief, but devastated by the knowledge that they had to stay apart. She sat up in bed and smiled, reliving the memory of having his girth filing her up. "Mmm," she hugged her knees to her.

"Sam, no adverse reactions?"

 _"_ _None that I detect, Pathfinder."_

"Except for a broken heart." She sighed and got her robe on and headed to the showers, reluctant to wash Jaal off her.

They were still docked on the Nexus, giving the crew plenty of time to blow off steam and recover before they went on their next mission. Jaal ate quietly in the kitchen later that day, after spending most of the morning in his quarters. He finished his report and worked on his weapon, but mostly tried to stay away from the rest of the crew. He felt exposed, that somehow they would be able to see on his face and his body language what they'd done last night. It felt impossible trying to keep his feelings in check. Instead of satiating his desire for her, possessing her last night had ignited a need for her he did not know how to control. He meditated and focused his mental energy on all the reasons they needed to be successful in their fight with the kett. He had to make sure she was a success. She'd done so much, accomplished so much together. They had to continue marching forward. There was no room for personal needs.

He listened to Vetra and Liam's small talk as he ate his nutrient paste. Liam was trying to put together a movie night for the crew. His ears perked up as he heard him talking about Ryder, his plans to pick something romantic.

"She's just so great, you know?" Liam said enthusiastically.

"Uh-huh," Vetra said, uninterested.

"I think she likes me."

"What makes you say that?" Jaal asked, continuing to eat.

"Well, she's super nice, and sweet. So encouraging."

"Doesn't sound like much to me," Vetra said. "She's like that with all the crew."

"She comes by to check on how I'm doing-" Liam started.

"Yeah, and she does that with me, too. Maybe she likes me, you don't know." Vetra raised an eyebrow.

"Look, why do you have to be like that, I'm just saying, I like her, okay? And I think there may be something more." Liam huffed in frustration.

"I'm just trying to save you some heartache. I don't see it at all." Vetra replied

"Nothing wrong with trying, is there?" Liam smiled and turned and threw his food out. He gave a little wave and left.

Vetra looked at Jaal and shook her head. "He's delusional. She has no interest in him at all."

"Oh?" Jaal tried to sound casual.

"Nope. She told me he really annoys her, more than once. She's just doing her job as the boss, being professional, and that dimwit thinks she's coming on to him." She laughed, "He'll find out, the hard way. Can't say I didn't warn him, though." She pointed a fork at Jaal.

He nodded.

The door opened and Dr. T'Perro came in. "Jaal, when you have a moment, could you come see me in medbay?"

"I am finished, I can come see you now." He threw out the empty container and followed her across the hall. Dr. T'Perro sat at her desk and folded her hands on the top of it. Jaal waited, standing across from her. "Doctor, is anything wrong?"

"I've tried to do some research, but I need more access to Angaran databases."

"I will contact Evfra and see if he will approve it. After our recent successes, I don't think he will refuse."

She shook her head no, and propped two fingers on her jaw, looking up at him, "I mean information on mating practices, anatomy, DNA structures."

"Oh, again, I do not believe he would refuse," Jaal shrugged, holding his hands out.

"I need to make sure the Pathfinder is not in any danger or negatively affected, perhaps next time we are on Aya, you could direct me to a source I could use to research without attracting attention."

He swallowed hard, "Um, I'm sorry, I'm confused."

She sighed in frustration at his coyness, "Sexual relations. I need to know the content of Angaran bodily fluids so I can cross-"

"What?"

She turned her head to the side, "You guys were intimate, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't analyze the potential risks. Oh –" she snapped her fingers, "If you could give me a sample, I could do a chemical analysis." She jumped up, reaching up in her cabinet, "I'm sure I've got some sterile containers here somewhere."

"No, doctor, no. How did you find out?"

She pulled an empty glass vial out, "Ryder told me."

"She told you." He leaned against the examination table, his hand over his eyes.

"Yes, look, I am asking you on a merely scientific basis." She handed him the vial.

He waved his hand back and forth and said forcefully, "No, doctor. Absolutely not."

She let her hand drop and looked at him, irritated. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Who else knows?" He demanded.

"I have no idea. She came to me this morning."

"Is she sick? Is there a problem?"

Dr. T'Perro said, "No, everything was fine, but there's much about your species we don't know."

"Please, I beg you, don't tell anyone else."

"Of course, Jaal, doctor-patient confidentiality is absolute. I wouldn't have said anything to anyone."

"Thank you," he turned and left.

Frustrated, she put the glass vial back in her cabinet. She tired of people's modesty when it came to sexual medical matters.

Jaal stormed into Ryder's quarters. Surprised, she turned from her desk. "Jaal, hi."

"I just had a talk with Dr. T'Perro."

"Oh?"

"You told her about us." He said angrily.

She stood up, "I'm sorry, I had to make sure I was okay. I mean, I didn't feel bad, but I was scared, you know? But don't worry, she's a doctor she won't breathe a word to a soul."

"Yes, that is what she said," he huffed, "Right after she asked me for a semen sample."

Ryder face palmed, "Oh Jesus."

"I refused to give it to her."

"Damn, I'm sorry."

"Don't you get it Ryder? We have been way out of line, doing this. We cannot take a chance, a risk of anyone finding out. I'll be off the mission, the reports will be leaked and public opinion of you will be polarizing, risking everything we're trying to do!"

She narrowed her eyes, "You didn't seem too concerned about that last night. You were the one who came back in the storage room after we stopped and grabbed me and kissed me. I didn't force you to do anything!"

He looked down at the floor, "I know, I'm sorry. It's just – I'm having a really difficult time with this."

"Well I am too, dammit." She turned her back to him, feeling tears welling up in her eyes. She didn't want him to see that.

"I didn't want any of this to happen." He said.

She snorted, "Thanks a lot."

"No, not like that, I - stars, I mean. What I mean is, I am utterly and completely consumed by you. I cannot, I do not want to control my desire to be with you. And not just being intimate with you, I enjoy all time I spend with you. You are a fascinating woman, and from the moment I met you, I knew I'd met my destiny."

She turned around, "Really?"

He hung his head, "Yes. I am very weak when you are concerned. I don't know." He sat on the edge of her bed.

"Jaal, our mission is the first priority. I know how important it is, what's at stake. I am not going to jeopardize our work, our people for anything." She walked over and put her hand on his shoulder. "We'll have to keep it a secret. We'll be together as much as we can, and no one needs to know. Well, except for the doctor."

He looked up at her, trying to process what she was saying. She saw his confusion, "I have never had a connection with anyone like what I do with you, and I'm sorry, but if you value our mission, we have to be together, because I just don't think I can go on without being able to have you in my life, in this way."

He leaned back to get a better view of her face, "You think we can do it?"

"I don't think we have a choice. I can't deny what I feel for you, and you are telling me the same. Why keep fighting it? We can be very careful and no one will know. Dr. T'Perro was shocked when I told her, she had no inkling."

He wanted to tell her no, but knew there was no way he could do that. He nodded, "I agree with your plan."

She grinned, "Good. I'm glad. When you find love 600 years and a galaxy away, you can't just dismiss it, right?"

"Love?"

She nodded. "That's how I feel, we don't normally say that so soon, but I can't help it. I'm being honest with you."

He reached out and took both her hands in his, "Sara, I adore you. I love you too, against all odds, in these crazy circumstances, be mine, darling one."

She nodded and leaned down, giving him a strong hug. She felt a big weight lifted off her, her heart finding a home in his.

"It won't always be this way. After more time, we'll be able to be open about our relationship."

She smiled, "Until then, we're smart enough to keep it a secret." She pulled back, "I think you should probably go, we've got to be careful about appearances."

He nodded, "I agree." He held her fingers to his lips and kissed them. "Come see me later, to you know, discuss weapons modifications, Kadara port, other work, um, issues?"

"Sure," she said breathlessly, "how about after dinner?"

"Sounds good. But you can stay no longer than an hour, to keep it from being suspicious."

"Okay. See you later."

He opened her door, knowing there might be crew outside overhearing him, "Evfra will let me know today about those modifications. As soon as I hear something, I'll forward it to you."

"Thank you, Jaal." She watched as he left and the doors closed. "Sam?"

 _"_ _Yes, Pathfinder?"_

"Make sure that Jaal is the only one with free access to my quarters, and same for me to his."

 _"_ _It is done, Pathfinder."_


	4. Chapter 4

They spent the next week finishing up business on Havarl and back on Eos. She snuck in as much time as she could with Jaal, their private time together becoming the highlight of her day.

"Um, why don't you stay the night?" she leaned over on her bed and kissed him.

He smiled under her kiss and shook his head no. "We agreed, remember?"

She nodded, "I know, I just –"

He got up and started getting dressed. "I've been in here long enough. At some point we do need to discuss the mission tomorrow."

"Yes, you're right." She gave him a grin, "How about I come see you later?"

He shook his head again, "You're greedy."

"Yes, I am. Can you blame me?"

He took the datapad and sat next to her on the bed, looking at schematics. After he left, it was late, but she needed to talk to Vetra. She'd left her a cryptic message about her sister.

As she strolled in Vetra's quarters, where she brought her up to date on Sid's data. She picked up her weapon and gestured to her table.

"Don't mind the mess, got a new mod last time we were on Kadara. Just had a chance now to put it on."

Ryder leaned against her table, "Oh yeah? Looks pretty cool. You've been preoccupied with your sister lately, huh?"

"Yes, that and – other things."

"Other things?" Ryder raised an eyebrow. She mentally berated herself for not spending more time with the rest of her crew to get to know them better.

"Well, Liam and I have been, let's just say spending time together."

Ryder was surprised, she hadn't expected her to say that, "Oh?" she sat down at her table and put her chin on her hand, "Do tell."

Vetra laughed, "I don't know, I started out helping him out with supplies and getting weapon mods, and we spent a lot of time together. We just started talking, more and more, and you know. He's kind of ok."

Ryder tilted her head to the side, "What does that mean, 'Kind of ok?'"

"It means what it means, that's all."

Ryder sighed loudly and pushed her arms out straight on the table, "You're pretty terrible at girl talk, you know."

"I'm sure I am. Not much practice at it." She looked at Ryder, "So, what about you?"

Ryder shook her head no, "Uh-uh, no. You haven't told me much of anything." She got quieter, "Are you guys doing it?"

Vetra gave her a look and kept adjusting the mod. "I guess you could say so, yes."

"What's the 'I guess' part?"

Vetra laughed, "There is no I guess. Yes, we are."

"Oooo!" Shepard exclaimed, "Finally some juicy gossip on the ship. So, things are going well, I mean, over all?"

"Yes, it's very new, only been a week. It's more of a 'for now' type of thing, we'll see what happens. But, I like him. We were just friends at first, and recently became more. He – makes me happy." She looked down and furiously scrubbed the grease off her gun barrel.

"That's great. I'm happy for you two guys."

"You know, he was interested in you at first."

"Me?" Ryder was incredulous.

"Um-hm. But when he saw you were involved with Jaal, he backed off."

Ryder blanched, "What do you mean?"

Vetra frowned, "You and Jaal."

Ryder shook her head.

"Don't deny it. It's obvious, well, to me at least."

"Dammit, no one's supposed to know. Did Dr. T'Perro say anything?"

"Absolutely not. Liam just got a feeling, I suppose he saw or heard something there, or he just made a guess. He's not spreading it around, though. Don't worry." Vetra put the gun down and went over to her shelf taking a bottle off it, "Drink?"

Ryder nodded. "So, how do you know?" she sat back in her chair, frustrated.

"Turians have a keen sense of smell, Ryder." She handed her a glass, and leaned forward towards her, "You smell more and more like him every day."

Ryder took the glass and blushed. "Shit."

Vetra took a different bottle down and poured herself a drink, "But don't worry, I haven't said anything to anybody, I played dumb with Liam. I guessed if you're keeping it a secret, it's for a reason, so I respect your privacy."

She took a drink, "Thanks, Vetra. I appreciate it."

"No problem," Vetra raised her glass, "Here's to both of us getting alien dick."

"Damn, Vetra!" Ryder gasped.

She took a drink, "Well, it's true, isn't it?"

"I suppose. Yeah." she held up her glass and took a drink as well.

Ryder changed the subject back to Sid, and they formulated a plan to follow up on the data she had on the missing colonists. As she left her quarters, she hesitated at the door, "And Vetra, please don't say anything. I promised Jaal I'd keep it a secret, for now."

Vetra waved her off, "Of course, don't worry. And I haven't heard anyone else say anything. You're lucky no other species has the same acute senses Turians do."

Ryder patted the wall, and left for her own quarters. She vowed to be a bit more aware of herself and how she was coming across to everyone.

Later the next day, she was eating in the kitchen when she noticed Jaal was acting nervous, quiet. She brought her plate up to the sink next to him and whispered, "What's wrong, are you okay?"

He shot her a look and said tersely, "Meet me by the Nomad in a minute."

She nodded and turned to watch him leave. Cora was sitting at the table, in a discussion with Peebee and Drack. Ryder waited a few minutes, nursing her coffee, then dumped the rest of it in the sink and tried to walk casually down by the cargo crates where Jaal was working.

"So, what's up?" she smiled.

He glared at her, "Vetra made a comment today about us being together."

"Shit," Ryder put her head in her hands.

That set Jaal off. Lips tight and with barely contained anger, he asked, "What were you thinking Sara?"

"Look," she hissed, "I just confirmed what she already knew."

He shook his head and looked down, "Stars."

"Turians have a ridiculous sense of smell, she could tell. She knew we'd been together," she held her hand up, "But – she won't say anything. She's trustworthy."

He turned to face her, "How many 'trustworthy' people will know before word gets back to the Angaran council, to Evfra?"

Ryder rolled her eyes, "Come on, Jaal. Don't you think you're being a bit dramatic?"

"No. I don't."

"So, we'll just have to be more careful, that's all." She crossed her arms and turned around, scanning the room to see who was there. Gil was upstairs working on a panel, not even noticing them. She turned back to Jaal, "So, what time you want to come by tonight?"

"I'm not." He continued to work on the equipment.

She sighed with frustration, "Okay, fine. I'll see you tomorrow then." She started to walk away when he stopped her.

"I don't think you understand what I'm saying, Sara. I can't see you anymore."

She laughed, "What?"

"I mean it. It has to stop, for good."

She swallowed hard. "But – but that's really drastic, we don't have to go that far."

He refused to look at her, focusing on the panel intently. "Yes, we do."

She opened her mouth in shock, "Look, I know you're worried and upset, but –"

"No!" he raised his voice, "That's it, Ryder. Pretend it never happened. It was all a big mistake. As time goes on, you'll agree that's the right thing to do."

She fought back angry tears. Lowering her voice, she said, "Right, so all that 'I love you, you're my destiny,' that's it? It means nothing to you?"

He gave her a sideways glance, "Of course not."

"Doesn't seem like it. I just – " she started to plead with him, "What about it if we just tone it down a little, a lot. Just get together once a week or something?" she smiled hopefully.

"No, has to be over."

She leaned back, stunned. "Please don't do this."

"I already have, I'm sorry. I should never have initiated this in the first place."

"But we had a plan, we agreed, and eventually we'd be able to go public with our relationship." She started to feel desperate.

"The plan isn't working."

"We can change it."

"You don't understand, Sara, what I'm dealing with here. I have to think outside of myself. You should do the same."

She was taken aback. It was the first time he'd insulted her. She took a deep breath, "Wow, is this where I apologize for my 'selfishness'?"

He said softly, "The end result is the same, we cannot have a relationship, I'm sorry."

The pain was starting to sink in. She bit her lip and nodded, "I see. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry you feel that way, I'm sorry I believed you, and I'm sorry that you see me as a mistake." She started having trouble catching her breath.

"Sara-" he looked down at her.

She shook her head vigorously, "Nope, better not, Gil will look down and see us. And, I'm starting to lose it." She put her hands over her eyes and wiped the tears that were starting. She opened her mouth to say something else, but stopped herself and turned away, walking as fast as she could back to her quarters. Once inside the privacy of her room, she let the full force of her emotions overtake her. "Fucking hell," she clenched her fists at her sides and then started sobbing, holding her hands over her face.

Stricken, Jaal gave a herculean effort to focusing his full attention on the maintenance task at hand. He purposefully had that conversation with her in public, knowing he wouldn't be able to handle her strong emotions she would let out in private. He replayed her words and facial expressions in his mind, starting to relent, but Evfra's words in his last message, warning him of getting too comfortable, too familiar with the aliens came to the forefront. He knew their entire mission would be at stake, and there was something in Evfra's message that had a tinge of accusation in it. He let out a loud grunt and threw the tool down on the floor of the cargo hold. He went to Vetra's quarters.

"Hey Jaal. Something I can do for you?" she switched off her vid screen.

He waited until the door closed behind him, "I want to let you know, there isn't anything between me and the Pathfinder."

"Um, okay. Look, I'm sorry I said something earlier, but no one was around, and no one else knows, so-"

He got closer to her, "No, it's not like that. She has feelings for me, I don't. There is no relationship, no intimacy, no nothing," he said vehemently.

"Whatever you say. I got it." Her eyes were wide.

He stood for a few moments trying to read her expression. He gestured down a few times with his hand, then said, "Good, I just wanted to be clear."

She crossed her arms, "Don't worry, that was very clear. I won't ever speak about your private life, or lack thereof again."

He seemed satisfied with that. "Thank you." He turned and left.

Vetra stood looking at the closed door for a moment, "Damn, that was not good." She vowed to stay completely out of the situation between them from then on.

Ryder couldn't stop sobbing in her quarters. Every time she cleaned up her face and blew her nose, she'd remember another moment between them and start again.

 _"Pathfinder?"_

"Sam, I swear, this is not the time."

 _"I'm sorry Pathfinder. I see you are in pain."_

"Yes, I am."

 _"I never detected any deception on his part, if that helps you to feel better."_

"Actually it doesn't, Sam. Please just – I know you're trying to help, but I don't want to discuss it with you."

 _"Yes Pathfinder."_

Jaal had cut her off so shortly, been so closed about it, she knew there was no use in trying to talk to him about it anymore. She contemplated that he had used her, made the whole thing up, but she knew him enough at least to know that wasn't true. It would make it easier to hate him, but it wasn't true. From the get-go, they had both had reservations about the prudence of being together, but there was such an electric pull between them, they both agreed it was worth it. She sat on the edge of her bed, dejected, thinking over what went wrong. He had been furious when Dr. T'Perro knew, then when Vetra found out, that was the last straw. She pulled her knees up under her chin. Maybe it was more that he was embarrassed about being with a human. Maybe he never meant for their relationship to be public, like she was a guilty secret. She mulled it over. It was possible. She sighed, he did keep talking about the safety of the mission, though.

"Dammit," she wiped more tears. It was true, the mission would be compromised if word got out, but she knew her crew would have kept it quiet, his fears seemed out of proportion. She stood up and went to her computer, willing herself to prepare for tomorrow's mission without his help.

The next day she went out with Vetra and Drack to investigate the missing colonists and completed the mission to help Sid. Back on the Tempest, she felt a heavy weight bearing down on her as she walked around the cargo bay. Being out on the planet had been successful in distracting her from her problems with Jaal. She picked up her pace and went to her quarters, changing her clothes. Looking around her room she saw more memories of Jaal. He'd spent so much time there with her.

"Fuck." She turned and left, walking towards Vetra's quarters. She took deep breaths, trying to calm her nerves and emotions. She stopped short, seeing Jaal standing in the same spot he'd been yesterday when they talked. She swallowed hard and decided she had a job to do, and she wasn't going to let him see her defeated.

"Jaal," she breezed up to him, "I'm planning to go to Kadara tomorrow. I've got to meet Reyes. If you have any notes or information, please send it to me."

He look at her calmly, "No problem."

She stood for a second, then realized that was all he was going to say. "Okay then, thanks." And she walked quickly past him and up to Vetra's door. She pinged it, and it opened, Ryder nearly running inside. She stopped with her hands on her hips, looking down at the floor.

"Ryder, thanks for helping my dumb sister out today, it definitely – hey, are you okay?"

Ryder kept her head down and put her hand up to stop her. "I just need a minute." She barely whispered.

Vetra got a little closer, "You feeling alright?" she leaned down and saw her face, red nose, tears coming down. She turned and got a glass of water, "Here," she shoved it at her.

Ryder accepted it and took a sip. She took a long breath in and looked up at the ceiling. "Damn, I'm sorry, it just hit me all of a sudden. I couldn't help it."

Vetra leaned against her shelves, "Sure, take your time."

Ryder wiped the tears off her face and gave a little chuckle. "I hate when I can't keep it together."

"It happens to all of us, don't sweat it." She looked at her with concern. "I – this is my fault."

Ryder shook her head, "It's not about the mission today."

"I know."

Ryder looked at her.

"I noticed you were quieter today, and obviously upset now. Jaal came by yesterday to talk to me."

"He did? What did he say?"

Vetra paused, "Um, you know, he didn't really say much, but it's probably better I don't give you specifics."

Ryder's shoulders sank, "That bad?"

"Yes. Look, I feel terrible, I shouldn't have made that comment to him about you guys being a couple. I'll go talk to him."

Ryder shook her head, "It doesn't matter. If it hadn't been you, someone else would have said something eventually. I, I don't know what else is going on, he wouldn't talk too much to me either. Whether it's his fears getting the better of him, or someone said something to him, it was enough to overcome any feelings he may have had for me."

"Oh Ryder, I'm really sorry. I can see you cared about him a lot."

"Yeah. It hurts. It hurts so bad." She took another drink of water.

"Look, how about-"

The door opened and Liam came in, "Hey babe, want to – oh, sorry, didn't mean to interrupt, Pathfinder."

Ryder smiled, "Don't worry about it."

Vetra walked towards him, "We were just going over the mission today. I'll be done in a minute. Meet you in your quarters?"

"Sure," he gave a little wave and walked out.

Ryder turned back to Vetra. "You know, I still can't see you guys together."

Vetra laughed, "We're not an obvious pair, but if you think about it, we're both adventurous people."

"True."

"He needed a connection here, someone to stabilize him. And you know what, so did I."

Ryder nodded. "Makes sense."

"And for the other things, maybe it's true about opposites attract. I help to reign in his impulsiveness. I like to think we balance each other out."

"Wow, that's a lot of analysis for a 'for now' arrangement."

"Well, maybe it's more accurate to say it's a 'we'll see' arrangement."

Ryder handed the empty glass back to her, "At least he's not trying to keep you a secret."

"Circumstances are different. Imagine if this was the First Contact wars."

Ryder looked down.

"Hey, I don't want to pry, but I know you need someone to talk to, and I'm here for you. Whenever you need me."

Ryder nodded, "Thanks Vetra."

Vetra reached out and gave her a hug, "I mean it."

"Yeah, thanks."

She walked silently back to the kitchen to get something to eat. She thought about what Vetra had said, and tried to frame her own feelings and thoughts to a better place that would allow her to focus on her job. She knew she needed Jaal's expertise, his help to complete her mission. She grunted, "Think outside myself, right?" his words came back to her. "Then that's what I have to do."


	5. Chapter 5

The next day she worked with Reyes, chasing down Zia on Kadara.

"Monoliths working, vaults are up, we're closer to an outpost here too, Ryder," Liam ran his hand over his forehead and grinned, "Feels good."

She smiled a little back, "Yes, making gains. This rat hole needed to be cleaned up. All these outlaws giving us a bad name in this galaxy. It's got to be turned around."

"Definitely." Jaal agreed.

Ryder had been reluctant to take Jaal along, but since she'd already told him he was coming, she didn't want to change her mind and make it look like she did so just because he'd broken up with her. Even though that was exactly what she wanted to do, she wouldn't give him that satisfaction. It was hard, though, everything now that had been so great before was not. When he called out compliments to her when she took a particularly skilled head shot, their battle banter, conversation in the Nomad. It all was off and awkward now. Fortunately, Liam was too dense to notice, either that or he was extremely good at faking it. Ryder looked over at Liam as they walked through one of the caves they were exploring. She remembered back to when he was interested in her. It had made her so uncomfortable. But when he turned his attention to Vetra, she'd been thrilled to receive it. She frowned, _What is it that makes one person attracted to another? And what makes that change?_ She looked down at her feet, the dust turning bright orange with each step. Strange how the dirt here did that.

She scrambled back into the Nomad, silently driving, barely listening to Liam's constant chatter about his thoughts on the state of the galaxy. Jaal made a few comments in the back seat, she focused on her driving, trying to tune them out.

"So when do I get to drive?"

She looked over at Liam critically, "Um, not ever."

"Why not?" he was disappointed. "I love vehicles, my family-"

She held up a hand, "Yes, you've told me this story about the car multiple times. Look, my Sam interacts with the Nomad and helps me drive better. Sorry, I'm the only one who can take the wheel."

Liam sat back and grunted his disapproval.

 _Pathfinder, there is a datapad at this outlaw encampment._

"Yeah Sam, I see it up ahead. Get ready," she spun the Nomad around and they jumped out, using it as cover. She leaned around the front, taking a few shots, her shields taking the brunt of the Roekaar's fire. She slammed back around, her back hitting the tire, "Damn, they're really putting up a fight."

Jaal nodded and attempted to lean his sniper rifle against the back of the Nomad. He got off a few shots and turned back as well to let his shields recharge. Ryder reloaded and kept shooting, taking a few out, not letting any flank her. She turned and Jaal had pushed forward. As she reloaded again, she heard Jaal shout out, "Okay, okay."

She frowned, hearing sudden silence. She peered out from behind the vehicle to see Liam being held by an Angaran from behind with a gun held to his head. He glanced up at Ryder, shouting, "You too!"

She walked slowly out from behind the vehicle, holding her gun out to the side and dropping it on the ground.

"All the weapons!" he ordered.

Jaal knelt down and did so as Ryder took the remaining weapons off her back and waist and dropped them loudly on the ground. She glanced around to appraise the situation and saw another Angaran conscious on the ground, but bleeding heavily and holding his leg in pain. She looked back up at the one holding Liam. He shoved the barrel of the gun harder at his temple.

She held her hands up high in the air, "Let's talk this out-"

He laughed, "Oh, now you want to talk. Of course. Violence is the only thing your kind responds to."

"And what does that make you?" she responded. Mistake.

He pulled the gun away and shot at her, missing by a few feet. He put it back at Liam's head, "Fighting for survival," he seethed. Liam stood as still as possible, leaning back up against the Roekaar, his hands gripping at the Angaran's arm around his neck.

She glanced over at Jaal, who was holding his hands up as well. Jaal spoke, "We are both fighting the Kett, don't turn your back on your people when we could work together to achieve victory."

He snorted, "Work together? You traitor, they have obscured your judgement! How can you call yourself Angaran when you work with these intruders?"

Ryder fixated her gaze on the pistol as he briefly let his hand drop so it was a few inches down from Liam's head. She snapped her arm out and threw out an incineration tech attack that burned him, causing him to drop the weapon and let go of Liam just enough for him to slip out. Jaal grabbed his closest gun and let out a shot that took him down. Ryder ran up to Liam as he had turned and pulled him up by the jacket and then slammed him back down on the ground. "He's dead."

Ryder put her omni-blade down by her side, letting out her breath. "Well, that was different."

"He was desperate, he knew he was outnumbered," Jaal knelt down by the other Angaran who was still bleeding.

"Thanks, Ryder. I thought that was going to be it. He totally got the drop on me." Liam stood up.

She nodded, "Everything ok now. Let's look around for that datapad." She searched through the debris and crates until she found it and Sam downloaded it. Jaal walked up, "That was good work, Ryder. Very adept handling of that situation."

She glanced up at him, "Just glad Liam's ok." She turned when Jaal stopped her.

"No, I mean it. You are doing amazing work out here."

She smiled, "Thanks, Jaal." She nodded quickly, then, still holding her arm, Jaal paused a moment and got closer. She pulled back, "What are you doing?"

"I – I- I'm glad you're okay, I wanted to, I don't know."

She put her hand on her hip and pointed at him with the other one, "Look, you broke up with me, remember? So I'm not here for you just when you feel like it. I don't know how Angarans treat relationships, but that's not how it goes with humans." She walked away briskly as she heard him apologizing behind her. She collected her weapons up by the Nomad, calling out to Liam, "You doing okay?"

"Yeah, he threw my weapons out in the brush. I'm a bit rattled, but alright." He put his last weapon back on the holster on his back and squinted over at the remaining wounded Angaran, "What about him?"

"Leave him," Jaal growled, "he can fend for himself." He leaned down and picked up his weapons and brushed past them to the open Nomad.

Liam shrugged and got in the Nomad after Jaal. Ryder went around the driver side and got in. "Let's get back to the Tempest."

The drive back was silent, with Ryder fuming thinking over her short exchange with Jaal. He wanted her, he didn't want her, it was maddening and unfair. Back on board, they dispersed, and Ryder gave Cora a quick rundown of the mission. Later that night, she went over reports and outstanding missions, lasering her focus on the work she had to do.

The next day she gave the crew some shore leave while she continued to get caught up on her work. _Hm, didn't realize how much I really let it go while Jaal was distracting me,_ she thought. For once, Addison had all her updates on time. She found herself actually finished, and rubbing her eyes, got up and ventured out on the ship. It was nearly empty with everyone out on shore leave on Kadara. She ate quietly in the kitchen, then walked through the cargo bay.

"Who's left on the ship, Sam?"

 _Besides yourself, Kallo and Vetra._

"Vetra?" she turned and pinged her quarters, her door opening. She saw her working at her computer. "Hey, didn't think you'd still be here on a night off."

Vetra glanced up at her, "Oh, Ryder. Yeah, well. I just figured I'd stay in tonight."

Ryder sat down on her cot. "No plans with Liam? He told you about what happened today on the planet, I guess."

"Yeah, he told me. Good job saving his sorry ass."

Ryder raised an eyebrow, "Oh? Trouble in paradise?"

Vetra turned her chair to face her, "Yes."

"Sorry, I was kidding. You guys having problems?"

"I –" Vetra put her head in her hand. "I was giving him a hard time about walking around with no shirt on. He got mad, saying I was trying to control him, be his mom."

"Uh-huh."

"Well, that's it."

"That's it?"

Vetra huffed, "It sounds stupid when I say it out loud, how it started, but it turned into a big argument, and he left the ship."

"So what was the big deal?"

"I told you, he said I was trying to be his mom, treat him like I treat Sid."

"Is that true?"

"No – I just. The truth is, I'm a little jealous, a little possessive. I don't want Peebee getting any ideas. I don't want those other women seeing him like that, that's all." She looked down.

"You're insecure?"

She nodded, "A bit, apparently."

"So what did he say when you told him?"

She crossed her arms, "I didn't. I just argued with him that it wasn't appropriate to dress like that on the ship, regulations and all."

"Maybe you should tell him the truth."

"I didn't want to."

Ryder cocked her head to the side, "Why not? That's better than you looking like his mom or hall monitor."

"Because it means, well, it means I care. A lot."

"Oh, well, we certainly don't want him to think that of you," Ryder rolled her eyes.

Vetra laughed, "It just makes this all much more serious, and I don't know if I want that."

Ryder paused a moment and said quietly, "I think that out here, us putting our lives on the line every time we step out of this ship, love in any form, and comfort are rare to find. And we should be just as brave to give it a chance. Take the risk, the leap into the unknown, knowing that we are strong enough to endure the pain that comes with anything worth having."

"Damn, Ryder. You should put up shop as ship's counselor."

Ryder looked down, "It's true."

"Yes, I agree. Alright, things are getting way to serious around here," she turned her computer off, "Come on, no sense us staying on board brooding. Let's go out."

"Ugh, no Vetra, I'm really not up to it-"

"That's exactly why we should go. Come on, you'll cheer me up. We'll cheer each other up."

Ryder slowly got up off her cot, "Okay, let's go."

"Great."

Making their way through the crowd in Kadara port, they looked around at their options. "Looks like Kralla's song, honestly, I mean, not too much else around here. Not like we're on Omega."

Vetra nodded, "Yeah, we can always get something there, then walk around here and just find a place to sit and drink and enjoy the view," she gestured out.

They laughed, "Sounds good." They hadn't walked far when Ryder saw Liam leaning against a stairway. "Oh –" she was about to point him out to Vetra when she saw him herself.

"Come on, I don't want any drama tonight." Vetra took her by the shoulders and turned towards the bar. It was too late, Liam spotted them and jogged up towards them.

"Hey, I was hoping to see you out here." He ran his hand over his hair and looked between the both of them inquiringly.

"Yeah, well, we're going to Kralla's song to get some drinks." Vetra started to turn.

"Wait a second, um, look. I want to apologize," he shook his head, "I was wrong saying the things I did. I know you're not trying to be my mom. I'm sorry."

Vetra softened, "I'm not trying to do that, honestly."

Liam smiled, "I know. I shouldn't have said it. If it bothers you for me to go shirtless, I won't do it. It's not worth it to me to upset you."

Vetra looked down, "The truth is, I don't want the other women on the ship to see you like that and get any ideas."

"What? Seriously?" he said in surprise.

She made a face and nodded, "Yes, unfortunately. I know I shouldn't be jealous like that, but I can't help it."

He reached out and pulled her towards him, "I am with you. I don't fancy anyone else in Andromeda. Or the Milky way , for that matter." He looked up at her to get her to look him in the eye, "But I understand what you're saying." He smiled, "I wouldn't want you parading around the ship topless, either."

"I feel stupid," she mumbled.

"Don't," he kissed her cheek, "You're jealous, and it's cute. I've been waiting here all afternoon watching that entranceway hoping you would show up. Now that you're here, we can still salvage our shore leave."

"Yes. Oh – Ryder and I were going to Kralla's song, come with us." She turned to find her.

Ryder stood off to the side, her arms crossed over her chest, trying awkwardly to be invisible.

Liam put his arm around Vetra's shoulders, "Yeah, let's go." He grinned. They walked past her, Vetra gesturing for her to join them. She walked reluctantly behind them. _Great, a night of being the third wheel. Just what I wanted._


	6. Chapter 6

They entered Kralla's song together, the cacophony hitting them in the face. Ryder trailed behind the couple, who did their best to include her on their conversation.

"What do you want to drink, Ryder?"

"Something light. Getting drunk in here is not a good plan."

Liam laughed, "Agreed." He discussed with Vetra what to order and they took their drinks back to the table. Ryder sipped and looked around, taking in the scene. Instead of lifting her spirits, it was depressing her even more. She put on a fake smile when Vetra looked in her direction. She was happy at least to see them getting along again. The Tempest was starting to turn into a drama vid.

After a while as was inevitable, Vetra and Liam's conversation became more inclusive, and Ryder busied herself with looking over the scattered groups around the bar. Hard to believe this was the carefully hand-selected crew they had brought along with them to Andromeda. She shook her head. A movement across the room caught her eye, and she noticed Reyes waving at her.

"Excuse me guys, I'm going to go over there."

They barely registered her comment as she grabbed her drink and sat down next to Reyes.

"Good to see you Ryder. Things have been going well since we took Zia down. And I have you to thank." He held his glass up.

She clinked his glass with her own, "Sure, Reyes, anytime."

"Be careful what you offer, I'll take you up on it."

She sighed, "I'm sure you will."

They drank and talked about the Nexus, the uprising, about recent missions. Reyes seemed distracted.

"What's wrong?" she looked around, "Something going on?"

He shook his head and pointed slightly with his finger, still holding his glass.

She turned, "What, Vetra and Liam? They're fine –"

"No, by the wall. He's been glaring at me for a while."

She looked behind the tables to see Jaal leaning against the wall, arms folded over his chest. She quickly looked down, "Oh, well, don't worry about him."

"I don't think he likes me very much." He turned to look at Ryder, "Is it something to do with you? He wasn't doing that until you sat down."

She was silent.

Reyes raised an eyebrow and nodded, "Ah, I see."

She leaned over the table and took another drink. "Don't, Reyes."

He ignored the warning in her tone. "You know what? I bet he's jealous. I've sensed something in the way he talks to you."

She grunted, "Hmph. That's absolutely NOT true."

He leaned back, "Oh, problems between you two?"

She motioned to the waiter for another round. "Yes."

"Ah. I see you are upset. You know, we just need to spark his interest, get a fire under him to get him to make a move."

She rolled her eyes, "Don't waste your time."

She no sooner had the words out of her mouth when Reyes reached over and grabbed her by the shoulder, pulling her to him and kissing her passionately. Her initial shock turned to rage as she attempted to pull back, but he had her tightly held by the back of her head. She finally broke free with Reyes laughing, "That should do it!"

She hauled back and slapped his face. He put his hand up to his cheek and laughed again. That pissed her off even more. She stood up and punched him in the face. He fell back out of his chair and suddenly Vetra and Liam, as well as Peebee were instantly at her side. Reyes looked up at her from the floor, surprised. He stumbled to his feet as Vetra grabbed him by the collar, nearly lifting him off the ground. She started to rough him up, when Ryder stopped her.

"No, leave him, it was a misunderstanding." Ryder shook her hand, looking to see if she'd injured herself.

"You sure?" Vetra had a tight grip on him.

Ryder nodded and Vetra pushed him back. "Hey, hey, we're all friends here, okay?" Reyes protested.

Liam turned to Ryder, "You okay?"

She nodded, "Yeah." She looked quickly around the room to see where Jaal was, but he was nowhere to be seen. Frustrated, she turned her attention back to Reyes who was sitting back in a chair, his hand up to his rapidly swelling eye.

"You've got quite the right hook there, Ryder."

"You should have known that from seeing me fight." She retorted.

"I never want it turned on me again."

"What happened?" Vetra turned to her.

Peebee interjected, "He kissed her."

"What?" Liam said.

Ryder shook her head, "Damn you Reyes."

"I still say it worked." He held his cold drink on his eye. "Ow."

"What's he talking about?" Vetra asked.

"I'll tell you later." She took a big swig of her drink and slammed it down on the table. "Drinks on Reyes, I'm going back to the ship."

They all turned to look at him as he nodded in agreement, "Fine."

Ryder stormed out and on the walkway to the Tempest she asked, "Sam? Is Jaal on the ship?"

 _No, Pathfinder, he is still on Kadara Port._

"Okay, thanks." She wanted to avoid seeing his reaction or lack thereof. She wasn't entirely sure he'd seen that, but it would have been pretty hard for him not to. _As bad as things are already, the last thing I need is that asshole Reyes trying to "fix" things for me._

Back on the ship, she sought out Dr. T'Perro, who was deep in thought at her computer. "Oh, Ryder, having a good evening off?"

She slumped down in a chair. "No, actually."

Dr. T'Perro turned, "I'm sorry. I know how hard it is to unwind." She flicked off her screen and stood up, "Would you like a drink?"

She shook her head, "I've had enough already." She shook her hand, "Damn."

"What's that?" she pointed to her hand, noticing Ryder grimacing.

"I may have hurt myself in a bar fight."

She raised her eyebrows, but didn't question her further. "Let me see," scanning it, she held her fingers gingerly in her hand and moved them to see where the pain was the greatest.

"Looks like a mild bruising, nothing torn or broken. I'll do some treatment on it and you'll be all fixed up." She eyed her critically, "Except for your broken heart, unfortunately I can't do anything to help you with that."

Ryder sighed, "I try not to be too obvious."

"You aren't, don't worry. It's just because I knew what was going on. I can see you two are no longer together, and that it weighs on you. Perhaps if you took some of my suggestions to de-stress, Yoga, meditation-" she caught Ryder's glare. "Sorry, I suppose I've become an expert on distraction."

"Oh yeah?" Ryder said disinterestedly.

Dr. T'Perro cleared her throat and said, "Yes."

Ryder frowned, taking more notice of her countenance. "What's going on with you, then?"

She shook her head, "No, I keep that private."

Pissed, Ryder pressed her lips together, "Oh, sure, why trust anything personal with anyone here, I mean, you're too busy poking into everyone else's private life." She looked at her angrily, "Easier that way, right?"

Dr. T'Perro was shocked into silence, and continued working on her hand. "It should be another 5 minutes." She said quietly.

Ryder sighed. After a minute she said, "Look, I've had a lot to drink and a really shitty night, I didn't mean to take it out on you, I'm sorry."

Dr. T'Perro continued to look at her hand under her equipment as she moved it around. "No, there's some truth to what you're saying. I'm just, well, I'm the ship's doctor. I'm supposed to be here for everyone else. I make it a point to keep my problems to myself."

Ryder let out a grunt, "And I'm the ship captain and human pathfinder, but I'm still a person, a woman, and there's a life I have to life too. I'm not saying you have to tell me whatever is your personal life, but I'm just saying everyone has to have a friend, someone they can talk to who knows them." She ran her other hand through her hair, "Huh, that's what ended up breaking me and Jaal up, actually. He found out you and Vetra knew about us, and he freaked out about the 'security breach', and told me it was all a mistake and it was over. Nothing I said made a difference."

"Oh Sara, I'm so sorry." She finished the treatment and shut the equipment off. "It must be hard for you."

She rubbed her hand, "Yup, a lot. I still have to work with him. I need him, you know? I've got to have his help on this mission. I'm still hoping somehow things will work out. I just – there's so much I don't know about his culture, that I can't tell if we're going to be back together again. I really fell in love with him, though." She hung her head and tears started to fall to her surprise. That was the first time she'd admitted that to herself. Dr. T'Perro put the tool down and reached around and gave her a hug. Ryder let some more tears out and then pulled back, wiping her face. She gave out a little chuckle when she saw the look of concern on the doctor's face. "Don't worry, I'll be ok, whatever happens." She took in a deep breath and moved her wrist back and forth, "It feels a lot better, thanks."

"Anytime, Ryder." She closed the lid on the sanitizer.

She got up off the medbay bed and turned to go, "I'll see you tomorrow. You know, you might think about going out on shore leave some time."

Dr. T'Perro paused, "I'll think about it."

Ryder shook her head and smiled and walked out towards her quarters.

The next morning Vetra cornered her in the kitchen about the scene in the bar, "What was that all about with Reyes?"

Ryder shook her head as she poured her coffee, "Not here, let's go talk in your quarters."

"No, Liam's still sleeping. Let's go to your room."

Ryder followed her around the corner into her room and she sat on her couch stirring her coffee, telling her about the conversation she had with Reyes and what he'd done.

"Damn. I was wondering why he kissed you, he never showed interest in you before."

"Yeah, he's a dumbass. He didn't know what he was stirring up. When I saw him laughing, I lost it. He pissed me off so bad. I shouldn't have punched him."

"Nah, he deserved it."

"Not that, I hurt my hand doing it."

Vetra laughed, "Oh. You going to be ok?"

"Yeah, Dr. T'Perro fixed me it up last night. Good as new. Did you see if Jaal saw what happened?"

Vetra shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "Uh, yeah, he must have. He nearly knocked over my chair storming out of the room. That's what got my attention, then I saw you slap Reyes."

Ryder put her head in her hand, "So he saw him kiss me, but not my reaction."

"I'm sorry. I don't think he did."

Ryder looked up at the ceiling, "Well, that's fabulous."

"Hey, just explain to him –"

Ryder shook her head vigorously, "Nope, no way. I'm not going to say a word."

Vetra put her hand on her hip, "What about the advice you gave me last night about not letting my fears, my pride get in the way?"

Ryder cocked her head to the side and furrowed her brows, "You guys are in a committed relationship. He broke up with me, vehemently. I'm not going to keep going to him and looking desperate and pathetic. Even if that is how I actually feel. But he doesn't have to know that."

Vetra said reluctantly, "I see what you mean."

They talked a bit more, then Ryder turned the conversation to the day's mission. "I need to finish up some things on Kadara. Believe it or not, I've got to go to a party with Reyes tonight."

"What?"

"Yeah, Sloane Kelly's having a party, and Reyes wants me to go along with him. Of course, she's not the generous type, so I'm sure there's something going on, and I need to see what. That will certainly help this whole situation with Jaal, I'm sure."

"Ugh, no doubt."

Ryder waved her hand back and forth, "Whatever, it seems like we were just like a fast flame that burned out quick. Wasn't meant to be."

Vetra could see her thinly veiled attempt to cover up her pain. "If that's how it turns out, he never deserved you in the first place."

She gave her a small smile, "Thanks Vetra." It was nice to have friends who supported you. Vetra was turning out to be someone she could really count on, and she appreciated that.


	7. Chapter 7

She spent the majority of the day finishing up some minor business and buying some mods for her weapons. Back on the Tempest, she was having trouble getting one of the mods on her scorpion pistol. The explosive rounds made it tricky. "Damn." She looked at the time, there was still a few hours before she needed to meet with Reyes. She let out a big sigh and thought over her options. She didn't want to go through the hassle of taking it back. "Pain in the ass. Options, Sam?"

 _I would say Jaal is the best candidate to provide assistance, Pathfinder._

She crinkled up her nose, "And the second best candidate?"

 _Peebee._

"Fine, Peebee it is." She gathered up the parts and made her way to the escape pod she had made home.

She stood in the doorway, holding all the parts together. "Hey, I'm having some trouble getting this to work, wondering if you could help me out." she smiled.

"Um, sure." Peebee put her remnant parts down and came over to inspect. Taking everything out of her arms and on her table, she tried putting it together pretty much the same way Ryder had.

Ryder watched with her arms folded, "I already did it that way." She struggled to keep her frustration in check, and let Peebee go through it herself.

"Maybe this will work," she picked up a tool and pried a part open. "Oops."

"Peebee-" Ryder said warningly.

"No worries, I'll push it back. Look, I hate to admit it, but I can't get it to function. Any of my tools will set sparks off, and that could explode one of the rounds." She held it up with a wry smile, "And that would be a bad thing."

Ryder picked up the different parts, "Well, thanks for trying anyway."

"Hey," Peebee said leaning against the table, "Saw Reyes on Kadara today with a pretty nasty black eye."

Ryder laughed, "Oh yeah?"

Peebee laughed too, "Yup, you got him good."

"He deserved it."

"I don't doubt it."

Ryder wanted to ask her if Jaal saw him, if she saw his reaction, but she squelched the temptation. "I guess I'll see it tonight when I meet him for a party at Sloane Kelly's."

Peebee raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

Ryder shook her head, "Not like that, totally business. I have no feelings like that for him at all, none."

Peebee nodded. She stayed silent, but she, like the others on the ship, couldn't help but have noticed the progression of events with Jaal – their attraction, closeness, then suddenly awkward separation. Peebee cocked her head to the side. "You know who you really need to see about that weapon is Jaal. He probably has some EMG type tools that can fix the mod to it without jeopardizing the safety of the rounds."

Ryder tightened her lips together, nodding slowly. "Yeah, you're right."

Peebee pursed her lips, but remained silent. "Good luck tonight with the party. You want me to come with you? I'd love to go."

"No, he's invited. I'm just going along as his guest."

Peebee nodded. "Gotcha."

"Thanks," Ryder raised the pistol parts and turned to leave. She braced herself and made her way to Jaal's quarters. He was busily working on something and jumped up to meet her at his door.

"Ryder," he said and stopped.

She held up the pistol and parts in both hands, "I- I need your help with this mod. I can't get it attached, and Peebee tried to help me, but she just made it worse I think. The exploding rounds complicate it. I thought you might have some EMG tools that would do it."

He nodded vigorously and took the parts out of her hands. "Yes, yes. I believe I can. Come in," he gestured.

She followed him to his work bench in the back of his room by his cot. He sat at his table and turned his worklight on, examining it. "Yes, I don't think Peebee messed it up too badly. I think I can do it-" he pulled down a few tools and started working on it. She stood over him, watching, then leaned back and looked around his quarters.

"Please, have a seat, it will only take a little while." He gestured to his cot.

She stood and looked at it, flashing back to intimate times they had spent there together. "I, think I should go."

He looked up at her quickly, his eyepiece tuned for close up work, "It's okay, I won't be long at all."

"No, Jaal, I'm sorry." She started backing up, "It's uh –" she started choking up and stopped, looking down to try to collect herself. "I have a hard time staying in here with you." She turned quickly to the door, stopping as it opened to say quickly over her shoulder, "Let me know when you're finished. Thanks." She strode quickly away.

Jaal was halfway standing up to try and get her to stay. As the door shut behind her, he sank back down in his chair, slamming his fist on the table. He turned and put his head in his hands.

A few hours later, Ryder left the Tempest, making her way to the Outcast headquarters to meet Reyes for the party. She looked around, trying to read the scene of the people in the street. It was still like a strange, western version of Omega.

Back on the ship, Peebee had watched her leave, and thinking things over, went down to Jaal's quarters. She pinged the door, entering when he answered back. He was in the back of the tech lab, sharpening a knife.

"Pretty cool, an Angaran weapon huh? Can I see it?"

He shook his head, "No, it is a gift I'm working on." He quickly put it down. "What do you need Peebee?"

She thought she saw disappointment in his face that it was her coming to see him. She walked over to his work table with Ryder's scorpion pistol sitting on it. She picked it up and turned it over in her hand, looking at the expertly placed mod now attached. "I wanted to see if you were able to fix it. I was afraid I might have messed it up too much." She put it back down again. "Looks great."

"Yes. I was able to use some of my Angaran tools to make it work. We won't know for certain until we get it off the ship and try it out, but I believe it will shoot."

She nodded and sat down at the chair by his desk, "I'm surprised you're not out tonight. It's not official shore leave, but some of the crew went out."

He made a face, "Kadara Port does not tempt me."

"Yeah. I was going to go with Ryder on her mission tonight, but she told me it would arouse suspicion."

He looked at her, "Mission?"

She leaned back in the chair, "Yeah, didn't you hear about it? She's meeting Reyes. Sloane Kelly's having a party, and she's going with him to check it out. Great way to check on the criminal element."

"Reyes," Jaal sneered.

Peebee continued, "Yeah, could be a trap. But, Ryder can handle herself. I mean, just look at what she did to him last night."

Jaal shook his head and started sharpening his knife angrily.

She fiddled with her bracelet, "You saw his black eye, didn't you?"

He stopped, "What?"

"When she punched him for trying to kiss her. She gave him a black eye. Well, she slapped him first, then punched him in the face. It was almost swollen shut when I saw him today. I've never seen her so furious." She rested her chin on her hand and watched for his reaction.

"I did not see that last night." He said carefully.

"Oh yeah, quite a show. I don't know what he was thinking, but she made it clear he better not try it again."

"Huh." He went back to sharpening his knife, a little slower now.

"Anyway, I think Drack's out on Kadara. He's probably hanging around out there in case she needs help. Too many of us there and we'll arouse suspicion."

"That's true."

"Well," she leaned over and stood up, slapping her palms on her leg, "I'd better get going. Glad you were able to get her pistol working. Have a good night." She turned and walked out his door, smiling to herself.

Ryder sat on the high ledge, sharing a drink with Reyes. She still didn't like him much, but he seemed more human, now that he was sharing some of himself with her, opening up to her.

"I just wanted to be someone." He almost looked ashamed he'd said it out loud and took a quick gulp of whisky.

"That sounded surprisingly genuine coming from you." She turned to face him.

He almost looked hurt, "I'm always genuine. In my own way." He took another drink and looked out at the expanse of Kadara. "I'm sorry, by the way about yesterday at Kralla's song."

She smiled wryly, "That shiner looks pretty bad."

"Ah, it will heal. I was trying to help you out. Didn't mean to make you angry."

She shrugged, "I know. I think you just made things worse, though."

He looked at her, "I am sorry, Ryder."

She shook her head, "Look, what's done is done, don't worry about it."

He sighed and handed her the bottle.

She got back late and stumbled back to her quarters, plopping down on her bed and passing out. A faint beeping woke her up in the morning, and as she struggled to open both eyes at the same time, she became aware of its origin and turned her alarm off. "Ugh, fuck." She struggled to sit up. "Whatever was in that liquor was some strong shit." She held her hand to her head. It pounded relentlessly.

"I'm going to see Dr. T'Perro." She sat on the edge of the bed for a few moments, then stood up, holding her head in her hands as she used her other hand to guide her along the wall until she was in medbay.

"Dr. T'Perro?" she squinted looking around.

"What seems to be the trouble?" she walked over to her, "Headache?"

"Yes, of the hangover variety."

"Oh, I see. I do have something that should help with that." She pulled a shot out of her cabinet and gave it to her in her arm. "This should start to work in a few minutes."

"Thanks, doctor."

"Was it at least worth it? I mean, did you find anything useful out last night?"

"I talked to a few people, but mostly it was just Reyes trying to unwind. It was okay. Regretting drinking so much now. That stuff was stronger than I thought it would be."

Dr. T'Perro nodded. She cleared her throat, "Drack went out to keep an eye on you. Did you see him?"

Ryder looked up in surprise, "No, I didn't. That was nice of him."

"Yes, he was concerned about you. He didn't tell anyone, but I was able to track his movements. He was watching where you were."

"Huh." She jumped down from the table. "I'm feeling better, thanks doc."

"Anytime Ryder, and – do me a favor. Please keep an eye on Drack. He's not as strong as he looks. What I mean is, he's gone through a lot of his redundant parts. He's not as young as he used to be, but he doesn't act like it. I just – I worry about him."

Ryder looked quizzically at her, "Sure, I'll do what I can."

She looked relieved. "Thank you, and please don't mention to him that I asked."

"Of course." Ryder watched as she turned quickly around and back to her desk. She left medbay, thinking about what she'd said.

Feeling much better and hungry now, Ryder went to the kitchen, smelling Drack's breakfast cooking on the stove. The doors wooshed open, with Cora, Jaal and Kallo eating and talking. "Hey, good morning." She smiled at them, and went over to the pot on the stove. She turned to Cora inquiring, "How is it?"

"Good, you should try some."

"Why don't you ask me?" Kallo complained.

"Because Salarians have a completely different sense of taste than humans, and I know Jaal prefers nutrient paste." She took as spoon and ladled some in a bowl, taking a bite. "Mm, it is good."

She stood and ate, trying to focus on acting casual around Jaal, which was never endingly difficult. She felt overly self-conscious about everything she said or did. Inwardly she grunted, it was more obvious now than before, she thought, that there was a difference in their relationship from the rest of the crew.

 _Pathfinder, you have an urgent email from the Nexus_

"Thank you Sam." She took her bowl and left for her quarters, putting it down on her desk as she pulled up her email terminal. It was from Dr. Carlyle about Scott.

"Kallo," she pulled up her omni-tool, "We need to get to the Nexus now. There's an issue with Scott, I've got to go see him."

In the kitchen, Kallo answered, "Of course Pathinder, heading for the cockpit now to set a course." He flipped it off and jumped up from his chair.

"Scott?" Jaal asked Cora.

She nodded, "Her brother, her twin. He's in a coma since his stasis pod was damaged. Doesn't sound good." She looked at the door in concern.

Jaal sighed, "Yes, she did tell me about him."

Back in her quarters Ryder re-read the email. It was vague, but clear in that she needed to get there quickly. She pulled up her omni-tool again, "Kallo, how long do you think it will take to get there?"

 _"_ _Twenty to twenty-five minutes. We are almost undocked here, and should be taking off in the next 2-3 minutes."_

"Okay, thanks." She sat at her desk and finished eating her breakfast, running different scenarios going through her mind of what it could be, most of them bad. She shook her head, pulling up the rest of her emails to distract herself. Dr.T'Perro updating her on the serum, Gil making some bad jokes, then she saw one from Jaal. She sighed and pulled it up, suddenly sitting straight up in her chair.

 _"_ _Dearest – In your culture is "dearest" too strong a word to use when two people are fond of each other?"_

She leaned back open-mouthed and held her hand unconsciously up to her chest as her heart started beating harder. She continued to read, transfixed by his declarations of his strong emotions for her _. "-I adore your strength and courage and beauty. Your dearest, Jaal."_

She sat back stunned. She leaned forward and re-read it a few more times. "Sam, when was this sent?"

 _"_ _Last night at 20:23 Tempest time."_

"Wow. That's been sitting here since last night, and I had no idea." She smiled. She thought back to this morning in the kitchen, he must have been waiting for her response. She leaned back in her chair, her arms crossed over her head. "Awesome." She thought about going to see him, but there was honestly no time. She had to get herself ready and be on the bridge, her mind right to go see Scott.

Soon enough, she was striding towards the tram to take it to the Hyperion Cryo bay. She paced on the tram, why was it taking so long! She stood impatiently at the door, "Come on, come on!" Finally it wooshed open and she walked briskly to where Dr. Carlyle was standing over Scott. To her relief, he looked normal. "What is it Harry? What's going on?" she sat next to him.

"Sam managed to uh 'find him'. He's still in a coma, but through the implant, Sam was able to contact him. He's conscious."

"That's great! He's okay?"

"His vitals are steady, I'm monitoring him, and Sam is as well." Dr. Carlyle looked at his datapad.

 _Though in a coma, Scott's mental processes remain intact._

"Can I talk to him?"

 _A moment while I establish a link with his implant._

"Scott? Can you hear me?"

"Is that you Sara? I don't understand, what's happening?"

"I can't believe it, it's me, Scott. There was a problem with your stasis pod. You're in a coma on the Hyperion, but the doctors are working on your recovery." She was so relieved to hear his voice, if only in her head.

"Wow, how are we talking?"

"Through your Sam implant."

"I can't feel anything, but I can hear you. Where's Dad?"

She winced. She had forgotten that he had no idea of what had been happening since they arrived. "Um, I'm not sure how to say this but, he's dead, Scott."

"What?"

"There was an accident when we first arrived."

"How – an accident, I mean – Dad-"

"I know. It was all very sudden, there was nothing anyone could do."

"I don't believe it."

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this way. It's been, rough."

"Did we at least find home? Dad kept talking about how amazing it would be. Is it?"

"Uh, everything hasn't exactly worked out as we thought it would." She looked up to see him moving around, grimacing. She could see he was in distress, "But we're making it work. I've been doing my best as the new Pathfinder."

"But what about the golden worlds?"

"They are so different than the Milky Way Scott. Really fascinating. Oh – and we've encountered some new species, one of them sentient. The Angara. They are helping us out."

"That's incredible sis. Tell me more, and I can't wait to see Habitat 7. You've probably named it something else by now."

 _Yeah, "hell",_ she thought. Not wanting to lie to him, she changed the subject. "I've met someone here, someone important to me. It's pretty serious."

"Really? Who is it?"

"His name is Jaal. He's from the Angaran species. He's an ambassador for his people, and on my crew. He's – amazing. Their whole species is amazing. You'll love him."

"I'm so happy for you. And anyone on your radar for your handsome brother when I finally wake up?"

She laughed, "Possibly. There's this guy Reyes."

"Uh huh."

"He's kind of a bad boy. Ruggedly handsome, Latin. Very charismatic."

"Just my type. Tell him to wait for me. I'll be out of here as soon as I get over this small case of the coma."

"Ok, I will." She chuckled.

Dr. Carlyle walked up and leaned over her, "The connection is temporary, it won't last much longer."

She nodded, "Scott, I've got to go."

"Wait – I have so much more to ask you."

"I'll come back soon, I've got Pathfinder duties to attend to."

"I understand. Take care of yourself, sis. I'm proud of you."

"Get better Scott, I miss you." She heard a noise and saw Scott tense up. "What happened?" she turned to Dr. Carlyle.

"The connection ended. It wasn't much, but I figured it would be better than nothing. I'll keep you posted."

"Thanks, Harry." She let out a deep sigh and walked slowly out of medbay. She paused at the doorway, the enormity of how much has happened in such a short amount of time weighing down on her.

"Ryder?"

She looked up and saw Jaal walking up to her. "Jaal, I didn't know you were here."

"It sounded serious. I know how important family is."

She smiled as she got closer. "Thank you."

He gestured to a bench and sat down with her. "How is he?"

"He's okay. He's in a coma, but they were able to use our Sam implant for us to communicate."

"That is good. How is he holding up?"

"He's still got his sense of humor. I'm glad to know there's no brain damage. I updated him a bit about what's been happening, but not everything. It's a lot to take in, how things haven't lived up to our expectations."

"Yes, I can imagine."

She turned to him and smiled at him. "I'm glad you're here."

He looked surprised. "Of course. I needed to come and check out the cultural center anyway."

She laughed, "Well, I have to go meet with Director Tann. I'll see you back on the Tempest later?"

"Yes."

She turned and went on the tram as Jaal stayed back to talk to one of the doctors. She somehow made it through a trying meeting with Tann. Could he for once just check his ego and snarky attitude? Just once, was that too much to ask? She met with a few more people, then hurried back to the Tempest. Knowing Scott was okay was a huge relief, and she was anxious to talk to Jaal in private.

On board she found him eating with most of the crew up by the conference room, where there was more seating for them. "Hey," she looked around, "What's the occasion?"

"Vetra got us some great supplies, some real food. You've got to try that vegetable dish." Cora pointed to the table.

There were multiple steaming dishes laid out on the conference table. The smell was delicious. She grabbed an empty plate and starting spooning various meats, casserole like dishes. Picking up a fork she spied Jaal sitting next to an empty chair. "Thanks, Vetra, this looks amazing."

She sat down next to him and started eating heartily. "This is so good. What do you think, Jaal? What does it taste like for you?"

"Different, but I think I like it."

She glanced around the room, everyone was busily eating, not paying attention to them. She lowered her voice. "I got your email."

"Good." He continued to eat.

"It was very nice."

He shrugged, "Sure, no problem."

Quizzical, she said, "I was really surprised. I'm eager to hear how you want to go from here."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about."

"No one can hear us." She looked around the room.

He shook his head, "I'm confused, what are you referring to?"

"The email you sent me, telling me how you feel."

"What?" he looked genuinely shocked.

Her throat got dry, "You know, 'Dearest, is it acceptable to call you that in your culture,' and you telling me how you were laying your emotions at my feet," she stopped when she saw him put his hand over his eyes. "What?"

"I am so sorry. I sent you an email telling you I had fixed your weapon and it was ready for you."

She shook her head, "I didn't get that, no, it was saying-"

"Yes," he said sharply, "I know what it said. I wrote that weeks ago. I never sent it. I must have accidentally sent the wrong email. I am so sorry, Ryder."

She leaned back and let the realization hit her fully. "I-" she swallowed hard and looked down. She let out a rueful grunt, "I see." She took a deep breath, "There's nothing going on with me and Reyes, you know."

"Yes, I do know. I know what happened, how you punched him."

She nodded, feeling her chest heavy in a way that was becoming all too familiar.

He shook his head, "Stars, I can't apologize enough."

"No," she held her hand up, "It was a mistake, I see that." She stabbed at her plate with her fork. "I see that." She said quietly. She felt fully embarrassed. Now it made sense how formal he'd been at Medbay on the Hyperion. She'd chalked it up to him trying to act professional around other people, but now she saw they were actually on two totally different wavelengths.

He was staring at her, struggling for something to say and that made things harder for her, feeling insulted by his guilt and regret. She stood up and he immediately stood up with her, looking down at her, "Sara, it's unconscionable, I – if we could talk about it-"

"Jaal, please. I can't continue to do this anymore. I'll delete the email, and just – leave the weapon with Cora in the cargo hold with the others, I'll get it tomorrow when we go out." she maneuvered around him and walked with her plate across the room to sit next to Suvi. "I've been reading up on your thesis, Suvi, could you tell me more about it?"

Suvi lit up and eagerly gave her updates on her latest thoughts on it as Ryder stuffed food in her mouth and nodded numbly, not hearing a word.


	8. Chapter 8

The rest of the afternoon was much of a blur, she somehow found herself back in her quarters, sitting on the edge of her bed staring at the wall across her. She shook her head, this was just too much to take. She started to feel sick from too much rich food and the emotions of the day and ran out into the bathroom. Fortunately no one was in it, and she slammed the door shut and leaned over the toilet and gagged, but nothing really came out. She started feeling strong abdominal pains, and turned and sat on the seat. She peed, and wiping she saw some red blood on the paper.

"What the-" she wiped again and flushed it down. She cleaned her hands, and bewildered, went to medbay.

Dr. T'Perro had made herself a plate of food and was finishing it off when Ryder came in. "Yes, Ryder? What's wrong?" she wiped her hands on a napkin.

"Well, I'm not sure, but I think I just got my period."

Dr. T'Perro's eyebrows raised in surprised, "You sure?"

She put her hands on her hips, "It's been a while, but I think I remember enough. Do you have any supplies for that?"

"Yes, I believe so, give me a moment to find them." She rummaged through her cabinet. "Here, and I need to examine you as well. You all had the birth control shot before going into stasis, it should still be functioning for at least another year."

Ryder nodded and sat on the medbay bed while Lexi scanned her. "Hm, I need a blood sample as well."

Ryder rolled her eyes and put her arm out.

"I'm just doing my job," Dr. T'Perro protested.

"Yes, I know, I don't like needles. Can't help it."

She drew a vial and put a bandage on her arm. "That's all I need." She looked at her thoughtfully, "Are any of the other human crew experiencing the same?"

Ryder shrugged, "I have no idea. It's not a hot topic around here."

Lexi nodded, "Sam, please ask Suvi and Cora to come to medbay. Oh – and Vetra as well."

"No Asari?"

She shook her head, "It's different for us. Works completely differently."

"Oh, okay." Ryder did not want to know.

Cora and the rest came in shortly, with Dr. T'Perro waiting until they were all there to ask the question.

"Well, to be honest, I got mine last week," Cora rubbed the back of her neck.

"And you didn't come by to ask me about it?" Dr. T'Perro demanded.

"I didn't think too much about it, I figured the inhibitor wore off early or something."

"I'll need a sample of your blood as well," she turned to Vetra and Suvi who both shook their heads no.

"Not yet, anyway." Suvi said.

"Does it really matter?" Vetra folded her arms.

"Yes, it does. It shouldn't be happening. It's more than an inconvenience. It's a medical mystery – why? I need to find out. In the meantime, if anything changes, please let me know. Also – make sure you use protection, just in case. I've got supplies here if you need them. I'm afraid if I try to give you another hormone blocker it won't have the full effect. I'll keep you updated on what I find."

Cora held out her arm for the blood draw as the other two left medbay. Ryder asked, "Could I have something for the pain, these cramps are a killer."

Dr. T'Perro nodded and handed her some pills from her cabinet. "Every 6 hours, no more than 4 a day."

"Thanks, and doc?"

"Yes?"

Ryder said quietly, "What about protection with um, Angarans?"

"Well, you're not pregnant it that's what you're worried about. The test was negative."

"No, I know, but in the future, well. Just wanted to know if I needed to worry about it, you never know with me and Jaal. I don't know, never mind."

Dr. T'Perro shook her head, "Impossible, Angaran DNA is too different. Like humans and Krogans. Wouldn't work. Nothing to worry about."

Ryder thanked her and left, arms full of supplies. "Good grief, like I don't have enough going on. Fuck."

She was back in her quarters for less than 15 minutes when she got a ping from Liam. "Yes, what is it?"

"Something I need to discuss with you," he said.

"Fine, I'll be there in a minute."

She made her way to his quarters, which were surprisingly cleaner. _Must be Vetra's influence_ , she thought. "What's up?"

"Well, I've kindof gotten some friends in trouble by accident and need to help them out," he let out a big sigh, "I've screwed up Ryder."

She crossed her arms, "I'm listening."

A little while later she came out, pulling up her omni-tool, "Kallo, we need to set a course for the Sephesa system, we'll set the mission for tomorrow morning, it's getting late tonight."

"Understood, Pathfinder," Kallo replied

She walked briskly through the cargo bay, then winced and grabbed her left side as a nasty cramp took her by surprise, "Dammit," she muttered.

Jaal looked over from his work, and asked, "Are you okay, Ryder?"

She glanced up in his direction, "What? Oh, yeah, no big deal."

He walked to where she was, "Are you sure? You looked like you were in pain. Perhaps Dr. T'Perro could help?" he looked concerned.

She let out a little laugh, "No, I've already seen her, no big deal, nothing life-threatening or contagious, I promise."

He visibly relaxed, "I am glad to hear that. I apologize if I intruded," he stood a little closer and grabbed her hand for fleeting second, "I don't like to see you hurt." He let go just as quickly.

"I – uh," she stammered, "We have a mission tomorrow to help Liam out, will you be able to go?"

Jaal nodded vigorously, "Of course, Ryder, anything you need."

"Thanks," she walked back to her quarters, still feeling his warm touch. She shut her eyes tightly and willed herself not to analyze it.

Finally the medicine kicked in and she changed and got ready for bed. She thought over what Liam had told her. She wondered if Vetra knew about it. _Well, it's not my place to go tell her,_ she thought.

"Ryder," her omni-tool pinged.

"Yes," she said warily.

"I have my findings, if you're interested." Dr. T'Perro answered.

"Oh, okay doctor, if you'd like to come by."

Her door opened a minute later and Lexi walked in to find her in her pajamas, sitting on her bed looking at a datapad. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you."

"No, it's alright. I'm just winding down. I'm interested to hear what's going on."

Lexi lit up, "It's fascinating, really. I have found no similar instances on the Nexus or other inhabited human planets."

"Huh, something unique to the Tempest? Are you putting something in the water?" Ryder pointed at her.

"Me? Certainly not. What I found was that some of the planetary systems we've been to have had an effect on your hormonal system, overcoming the effects of the birth control inhibitor. Specifically the Valay system."

"Where we found the Asari ark."

She nodded. "That's why you and Cora were affected, but no one else."

"Wow," Ryder sat back, "How did it do that exactly?"

Dr. T'Perro shook her head, "I don't know yet. I'm studying it, and plan to find out, however going back there isn't a priority at this time."

Ryder nodded, "True. So, I've got to deal with this now. It kindof sucks."

She laughed and patted her leg, "I know, I'm sorry."

"It could be worse."

"Indeed. Feeling any better?"

"Yes, the medicine helped."

"Good, and – how are you doing with everything else? With Jaal?"

Ryder sighed, "I – ugh, It's pretty awful." She gave her a small smile, "But I'm trying to deal with it," she picked at her blanket. "-as best I can."

Lexi looked down, "I know, I'm doing the same."

Ryder looked up at her, but didn't say anything.

"You've probably already guessed, there's someone important to me, someone I have strong feelings for." Lexi looked up at her.

Ryder shook her head no.

Lexi smiled and said, "I'm not obvious? It's Drack."

Ryder was surprised, "Oh?" then she thought back to the times Lexi talked about his safety, expressed her concern about him. "Does he know?"

She shook her head, "No, he feels he is way too old for anything like that. He's so focused on trying to find his place in this galaxy without becoming a living fossil to the Milky Way history, it's tough for him. We talk, I know we are close friends, but that's it, unfortunately."

"I'm sorry."

"I am as well. Please don't say anything to anyone."

Ryder held up her hand, "Of course, not a word. So – what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to talk to him about it."

"Really?"

Lexi looked up, "Yes, I've been trying to get up the courage to. I just can't find the right time. I'm afraid he's going to laugh at me."

"Why? You're a wonderful person."

"I'm glad you think so. I think Drack feels my interest in him is purely medical, sisterly. I am trying to figure out how to let him know I feel so much more. I don't know." She looked up and took her hand, "I appreciate you listening to me, you said the other day I should confide in someone."

"Yes, I meant it. I don't know much about Krogans though to give you any advice."

"I know, just getting it off my chest helps a lot."

Ryder grinned, "See, taking your own advice for once."

She laughed, "You got me there. Look, I'm going to go, it's late and you've had a rough day with Scott and all this mess."

Ryder rolled her eyes, "You don't even know the half of it."

"Oh? There's more?"

"Lots, but I don't want to relive it now. I hope it all works out for you, Lexi."

"Thanks Ryder. I'm going to try."

"That's all we can do, right?"

She nodded and left.

Ryder put her datapad on her side table and turned her music on, laying back and looking up at the ceiling. Just when she felt like she couldn't possibly take any more stress, it always seemed to ramp up. She was at the point where she was so overloaded she felt numb.

Lexi strode purposefully on the second deck overlooking the cargo bay. Drack was talking to Gil. She felt her pulse quicken as she approached them.

"Drack, could I talk to you for a minute?"

He turned to her, still laughing with Gil over their conversation, "Sure Doc, what about?"

"Well, if you could come back to my quarters for a minute-"

He shook his head no, "Enough scans, doc. You know what I'm dealing with, it isn't going to change anytime soon."

"No, no, not that, just to talk for a minute."

He sighed in irritation, "About what?"

She blushed furiously, "Just – look, please come down, it's not medical matters, I swear."

He eyed her suspiciously, "I don't believe you," he laughed heartily, "Those are the only conversations you know how to have."

She felt the heat rising up her neck, "Fine Drack, never mind." Dejected, she turned and walked to the ladder. As she went down, Drack turned back to Gil who had been watching the exchange intently.

"Pretty harsh, man." Gil told him.

"What? She's always poking and prodding, lecturing me. I'm not in the mood."

He shook his head, "You hurt her feelings."

Drack laughed, "You don't know her like I do, she's fine."

Gil disagreed, "She was hurt. I don't think she was going to talk to you about medical stuff. She even said so."

Drack looked down, but she had gone, "I don't know what you mean."

"I don't know either, but that was not cool."

Drack grunted and pushed back from the railing, "All right, I'll go down and talk to her."

"And be nice. Don't be such an ass. You're lucky she cares about you at all." Gil said pointedly.

Drack waved him off and took the lift down, walking into medbay. As the doors wooshed open, he caught Lexi off guard. "Drack!" she turned her head and quickly wiped away tears, forcing a smile.

He stopped short, realizing he had been the cause of her distress. He softened, "Doctor, I'm sorry I was just joking around with you."

"No, fine, I'm fine." She stood up. "What can I do for you?"

He leaned against one of the medbay beds. "You asked me to come talk to you, remember?"

"Oh, right. That's right, I did." She looked down.

Drack shifted his massive weight slightly back and forth. The silence continued. He cleared his throat, "Well, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I, this is hard to say." Lexi fumbled her words.

"Is there something wrong with Kesh?"

"No, not at all."

"That's a relief." He looked at her face, "Just spit it out doctor, we don't have all night."

She let out a loud sigh, holding onto the edge of the table as if to give her strength. "I wanted to know if on our next shore leave you would like to go out with me, to get something to eat or something."

He looked completely perplexed, "What?"

She averted her gaze, "I'm asking you if you would like to have dinner with me."

"Why? I'm sure there's someone on board you'd rather do that than with me. Wait – are you trying to check on what I'm eating? You've got to let me live my life doctor. At this age, what does it matter, anyway?"

"Dammit Drack, I'm more than just a doctor. I'm your friend."

"I know."

"And I'd like to be more, that's all. That's all I'm asking," she looked at him and raised her voice, going all in now that she was already embarrassed, she might as well lay it all out, "I'd like to have a more personal, intimate relationship with you." She was breathing heavily, realizing she had been holding her breath.

He grunted, "Huh?"

She leaned her head back in frustration, "I'm asking you out, and not as a friend."

"Yeah, I got that part."

"Oh, okay."

"Why?"

She explained, "I like you, I like your personality, I find you attractive –"

He waved his hand, "No, why now?"

"I suppose it was getting harder to not ask you, so it was worth the risk of you laughing in my face, which – by the way, thank you for not doing."

"Don't mention it."

"So, what do you think?" She bit her lip. It was a good sign he was still there, hadn't gotten angry at her, but he hadn't seemed thrilled either. It was excruciating waiting to hear his response. She'd rehearsed this in her mind hundreds of times.

He put his hand to his head, "I'll have to think about it."

"Oh, sure. I understand." She gave him a little smile, squelching her disappointment.

He nodded and silently turned and left. She felt a release of emotions, turning to put her shaking hands on the smooth glass tabletop. _That had not gone well, but at least he didn't reject me outright._

The next morning Ryder was brushing her teeth with her sonic toothbrush when Drack suddenly appeared behind her in the bathroom. "I'm almost done," she continued to clean her teeth.

Drack paced quickly behind her, "I have a question." He bellowed.

She froze with the brush in her mouth, "Fine," she garbled, "Just give me a second." She rolled her eyes and finished brushing, then turned around to see him almost coming out of his skin. "What's the big deal?" she crossed her arms.

"I'm asking your permission to court Dr. T'Perro."

She nearly choked, "What?"

"I'm asking –"

"Yes, I heard you, I'm just surprised. Why do you need my permission?"

"It's Krogan tradition, you ask the family. Since she has no family here, you're the next closest thing as her Commander. Well, what do you say?"

"Oh, well I say sure. Go right ahead."

He looked relieved, "Thank you." And turned quickly and stomped out.

"Wow. That's pretty amazing." She grinned. She put her toothbrush in the cabinet over the communal sink. "He sure acted quickly."

Suddenly he came around the corner again, "When is our next shore leave?" he demanded.

"Shore leave? Uh, I'm not sure, I hadn't really thought about it. We have a mission today to help Liam, but we will probably be off in the next few days." She nodded.

"Okay, good. Let me know." he disappeared again.

She smiled to herself as she finished packing up her toiletries. Cora came out of the crew quarters where she'd been talking to Liam. "What was that all about, all that yelling?"

"Oh, nothing. You got my report for the mission today?"

Cora nodded. "Sounds fishy, I don't like it."

She frowned, "Me neither, but we've got to get it taken care of. We'll leave in 45. I'll meet you and Liam in the cargo bay."

"Me?" Cora pointed to herself, "I didn't know I was going on the mission."

"Yes, I thought I messaged you, I'm sorry, did I forget?"

Cora nodded. "Not that I mind going at all, I can be ready quick." She added eagerly.

"Great. I'll see you soon." She took her bag out and back to her quarters. Dang, she thought about messaging her, then must have forgotten, but thought she did. She sighed, she'd better go let Jaal know that he's not on the mission today, he's probably ready to go.

She walked in his quarters, hearing him talking on the vidfeed.

"-But why were they allowed to speak with him?" He said angrily.

Ryder walked slowly up, not wanting to eavesdrop, but needing to tell him about the change to the mission roster.

A woman answered him, _"They aren't children anymore. We can't control their every move."_

Another voice, _"You remember how you were."_

Jaal hung his head down. She could see his face now, he had a look she hadn't seen before – a contained fury and fear.

 _"_ _Please, Jaal."_

He set his jaw, "I'll bring them home." He turned the screen off.

"Are you okay?" Ryder asked.

Jaal could barely look at her, "Three of my brothers and sisters have joined the Roekaar."

She let out a little gasp.

"Aksuul has poisoned them with his hatred of aliens."

She leaned against the wall, her head in her hand, "And your mothers want you to bring them back."

Jaal got up quickly and strode past her. He turned, looking down, his thoughts racing a mile a minute, "The Roekaar have made camp at the Forge." He continued with a description of the area and its significance to the Angara. Ryder nodded quickly as he spoke, her eyes wide.

Jaal's voice broke, he looked down, "He has my family…but I don't think I can do this alone." he brought his head up, hesitating.

She walked towards him, "You don't have to," she said firmly, "Just tell me the time and place."

He got closer to her, almost without realizing he was speaking out loud, he said softly, "No hesitation. That is what I love about you."

Her eyebrows raised in surprise.

He continued without pause, "I have a contact who's been monitoring the Roekaar. I'll set up a rendezvous with her."

"We'll get them back, don't worry." The concern in her voice was palpable.

He gave her a smile, "Thank you, Sara."

She nodded, "I'll put off today's mission, let me know as soon as you get word." She left and went down to the cargo bay. She could feel his pain and urgency as if it was her own family. She burst into Liam's room. He wasn't there. She turned and went to Vetra's quarters, picking up speed around the corner. The door opened, and he was there, Vetra holding a weapon out to him.

"Ryder, I'm almost ready-" he started.

She shook her head, "There's an emergency with Jaal's family, we have to put off the mission until later."

He huffed in frustration, "How much later? I mean, Verand – the others,"

"I know, it's important, I have to prioritize. I'm saying later, not never. I need to take Cora on the mission with me."

He looked at her incredulously, "What? Oh come on! At least you could let me go with you."

She glared at him, this spoiled little brat act was getting old, "No, the decision is made, that's final." She leaned in for effect, then turned and left.

Liam looked up at Vetra, "This is bullshit." He plopped down in a chair and started furiously taking his armor off.

Vetra put the gun away and walked over to him, "Just think of it this way – we get to spend more time together this morning. And with nothing scheduled, I think we can find some way to pass the time." She ran her taloned fingers through his hair. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist, "I guess you're right."

Ryder huffed as she made her way up the ladder to Cora's quarters. "Hey, we've got a change to the mission today."

Cora's shoulders slumped and she put her helmet back on the shelf. "I understand."

Ryder sat on the edge of her cot and shook her head, "No, you don't," She brought her up to speed on the situation with Jaal. "I need you with me – a clear head and calm manner."

"No problem, Pathfinder. Don't you think, though, bringing two humans along will make it harder for Jaal to negotiate?"

"Unfortunately, we don't have a choice. He needs backup – he can't go it alone. We're the best on the crew to handle it diplomatically." She stood up, "We can help Liam later, that situation is not as critical."

Cora nodded and grabbed her helmet back.

Ryder's omni-tool pinged. Bringing it up, she read quickly and shut it off, "Havarl, his contact is there. Be ready. I'll let Kallo know to set a course." She yelled over her shoulder as she sprinted out of her room.


End file.
